𝕎ℝ𝕀𝕋𝔼𝕋𝕆𝔹𝔼ℝ 𝟚𝟘𝟚𝟛

DODGE

"Wow! You really dodged a bullet, that's insane..." Your roommate, Clio frowned. You had just told her about your most recent date, one that ended when your date tried to drug you. It was just a continuation of your horrible dating history.

Men, women or identifying otherwise, it didn't matter. They all seemed to be crazy in one way or another. From drugs to weapons to shouting matches with their exes who happened to be at the same place. It never worked out for you, always left in the dust or 'dodging bullets' as your roommate would say.

"Maybe you should just focus on your job for a bit? You know I love those scones you make for the cafe." Clio suggested, not looking up from scrolling on her phone.

"Yeah, maybe. Are you gonna stop by for more scones tomorrow? We're also making some more of those cheese danishes your boyfriend always gets." You'd only met Clio's boyfriend, Killian, once outside of work, but it was obvious how devoted he was to her. Flowers at every date they went on, random sweet texts, he always bought her scones when they stopped by the cafe.

You were jealous of her, but happy for her. You wouldn't wish your horrible dating luck on anyone, especially not Clio who was one of the better roommates you had. Did she leave her jackets and other random clothing items everywhere after laundry day? Yes. But she also put her dishes in the dishwasher and would, sometimes, get you snacks.

Even though you had very different backgrounds, Clio growing up was rich and spoiled, you had found a way to live around each other. On her bad days you'd be there to encourage her to continue with her studies and call Killian. On your bad days, specifically after another failed date, she'd be there to pick you back up again. 

Today wasn't a bad day, per say, work was normal and as quiet as customer service could get. You had just brought out the fresh scones when Clio and Killian came in, Clio waving excitedly.

"Y/N! Can we get our usual please? I've been dying for one of these!" Clio was bouncing up and down as you prepared the scone for her and danish for Killian.

"That'll be-"

"Here, let me pay." Killian handed over a twenty, giving you a polite smile.

"No fair Killian! I wanted to pay this time!" She huffed, but still took the pastries and change from you. The change went back to Killian while she ripped open the paper bag and started to eat the scone. 

"These are amazing." She said, mouth full of scone as Killian steered her towards a table. You ignored them and their 'happy couple' things and returned to taking orders. Clio and Killian eventually left, Clio saying she'd come back later to visit once their date was done. 

Slowly the hours ticked by, you were only yelled at once by someone who didn't know cheese had dairy in it. You were tired by the end of your shift, chatting with Clio as you cleaned up the counter.

"But do you want Thai or pizza? I'll pay if thats what you're worried about. I could really go for a sausage and pepperoni pizza right now." She said, showing you her delivery app.

"Get a pizza then." You said, finally hanging up your apron and grabbing your bag.

"Okay. Any toppings you want on your half?"

"Hm, could you put some-!" You flinched as someone slammed into the cafe doors, fumbling with the locked door. You and Clio stared in shock as the person, now visible as a woman, got more and more frantic trying to get in.

"Do we call the police?" Clio asked, already about to dial.

"I'm- I'm not sure-!" The woman suddenly stumbled into the door before slumping down, leaving a trail of blood. Behind her was a masked man, holding a gun. Everything seemed to freeze.

"You know," you turned to Clio, who suddenly looked just as calm as she ever did. "I've always pitied you for your horrible history dating. Even if I did play a hand in it, you always looked so crushed after."

"Clio?"

"I only paid them off after the first two. It wasn't hard to have someone ask you out then act crazy or dangerous. But, I see how down you've been from it, so I wanted to offer a solution." She whistled and the masked man stepped forward, slowly lowering his gun.

"I know you've always been jealous of my relationship, how everything seems perfect. And he is, Killian is perfect, in numerous ways. Now, did I ever tell you about how he used to work in the kidnapping business?"

You managed to make a sort of strangled noise as you stumbled away from Clio and, assumedly, Killian.

"Don't try to run, it's only gonna make us be here longer. But, before he puts you out, what toppings were you gonna say? I actually want a pizza now."