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Holy shit it took me forever to upload that photo.
But yea basically, I've been a girly girl all my life. I grew up in a very conservative family, my parents are super religious and they don't like anything that's different from the norm, all that crap.
As much as I loved Barbies when I was little, I was also fascinated by Monster High dolls. I believe they first came out when I was in kindergarten or maybe even before that. I remember telling my parents I wanted the Deluxe High School play set for Christmas, but to my disappointment I only received a Venus McFlytrap doll. They told me that apparently Santa didn't think I was "good enough this year," and so he only got me one doll. But I was still happy, because I had received the first doll that showed me that not everyone is perfect and that it's okay to express yourself the way you want without caring what others think.
I never received any more Monster High dolls after that. I remember in my second grade year I wanted Skelita but as I showed my mom the Christmas toy magazine, she looked horrified and then ranted about how the doll looks like a dead girl and that she was ugly and that this was not a good influence for me. It's honestly funny how a doll can cause so much controversy just for existing.
I've low key been considering buying the new Monster High dolls. I was a little iffy on the fact that the redesigns look less dark and have pastel colors at first, but I really don't mind the pastels anymore. Everything else about the dolls is fine, people are just racist and fat phobic. I honestly feel like buying some of the dolls could heal my inner child.
What does this have to do with me? Well aside from the dolls, this relates to how I have evolved over the years. I said in the beginning that I was a girly girl all my life, and that my parents were super religious and stuff. Not only were they strict about what kind of dolls I played with growing up, they're also super strict about how I present myself in public. Nearing the end of my freshman year I started my emo/scene era. I love these alt subcultures, from the music to the style, and I wanted to take part in it, so I am. I wear black with most of my outfits, I blast alternative rock music in my earbuds until I nearly go deaf, and I do the most extreme makeup looks I can possibly do.
My parents are not exactly thrilled with my new look, but just so long as I am happy and I am not hurting anyone, I really don't care. My mother has scolded me for a number of reasons, such as wearing all black, wearing a heavy amount of eyeliner, playing my music too loud that they can hear it, and painting my nails black all the time. Matter of fact, yesterday she said that "only cholas and prostitutes do their makeup" the way I do. My father says just about the same stuff, but he likes to mention how just because he listens to Linkin Park and Metallica doesn't mean he dresses the way they do. It kinda sucks that I have to hear this from my parents every day, but I'm just living my best life, and if they can't be happy that I'm happy then too bad I guess.
So yea, in a way I am both Barbie and Monster High at heart. Although I am emo and scene now, I started off as a girly girl, and I still am a girly girl, and I will always embrace that no matter what. Out of all my emo photos, I chose that one for this Barbie poster because this one guy I'm talking to said it gives Monster High vibes. That day I was going for like an emo Barbie look, but I was happy to hear that I looked like a Monster High doll too.
Im literally about to fall asleep and I wake up at 5 AM, so I'll post another chapter at a later date, that is if I even know this book exists anymore. Take care, lovelies~
