𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊𝐖𝐀𝐘 𝐆𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐄𝐍𝐒 |𝐊.𝐕.

nine

𝐑𝐘𝐀𝐍 𝐋𝐀𝐊𝐄-𝐁𝐑𝐎𝐖𝐍
𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐆𝐎, 𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐓 𝐇𝐔𝐑𝐎𝐍 𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒
𝐉𝐔𝐍𝐄, 𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐘 𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐘 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄

𝐄𝐱𝐜𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐄𝐫𝐫𝐨𝐫𝐬

It's been almost four days since I cheated on Rommel and my life had been a living hell internally. It's hard coping with the fact that after all the complaining I've been doing about Rommel Lyn I would be the one to break us up

Mentally I try to pretend like nothing has happened and that the night meant nothing to me but I just can't get that night out of my mind no matter how hard I try to forget it or try to justify my actions

Especially since Rommel doesn't care to speak on that day and why I wasn't home, When Rommel finally arrived and saw me in the bed room all he did was hug and give me a kiss on the forehead said I love you and then left again

It confused and made me nervous that he somehow found out but nothings changed, the routine went back to the way it was—which is bothering me. Is me disappearing the only way he could show me some type of comfort or concern ?

I got up around my regular time which is about 6:10 a.m. ,made him a nice breakfast, got myself pampered, woke Rommel up and watched him get dressed to go to work as I would be staying inside for the remainder of the day

I wasn't even returning Adelyn phone calls which is eating at me up on the inside but it's like paranoia took over and made me distance myself all over again, it's just not the same anymore even though we can see each other whenever we want I still feel distant in a way

When it used to come down to situations like this in the past Lyn would be the first person I tell or go to for guidance but now it just feels like Lyn has out grown me and I can't depend on her as much.

Which sounds very childish and misleading but that's how I feel. It can be pride, envy, guilt, or all of those wrapped up together but it's hard trying to described my emotions when it come to our friendship because it changes the more I think about it

One minute I'm telling myself I need to get my friend back and rekindle what we had but a minute later I'm convincing myself that it was best we grew apart since we were too busy for each other anyway

"Ryan you got me waiting in this hallway for you to leave this apartment like I'm some type of stalker and you ain't did a damn thing" The book I was so called was reading fell from my hands as I stood at attention from Lyn's sudden shouting

"How long have to been waiting out there?" I questioned back

"I'm not going to keep speaking through a door Ryan?" She stated

I took a deep breath as I got closer to the door getting ready for what Lyn was about to unleash on me. As I unlocked the top and bottom lock, inching the door open all I could see when Lyn and her very apparent scrawl

"You didn't have work or you got off super early or something?" I spoke first holding the door with my body allowing Lyn to come in

"You trying to disappear on me again or something cause I ain't got time for it ?"

"No, not at all I just need time to gather my thoughts together from...you know the outing we had a couple days ago" I push out the door back shut