God's Favorite

∘ one ∘

One week and five days ago, Harry had found himself sitting in the same subway and on another uncomfortable seat, traveling to the small town in which he was raised. The forty minute ride there had been lonely despite the fact from the dozens of passengers who surrounded him; but he was used to that kind of feeling. Now, he was on his way back home with nothing but an emptiness that continued to gnaw at whatever was left of him. Harry's family had been preparing for the death of his older sister since the moment she was kicked out of college. But no matter how many times his relatives had repeated themselves, it still hit him harder than speeding head on into brick wall.

Harry was always known as his sister's little brother and that never seemed to bother him. He loved his sister more than anything. Now according to the family and friends around him, his sister, Gemma, had gone from being a person to being a thing that people blamed for their own troubles. He didn't like that. To him, Gemma was just as much of a person as anyone else was, mistakes shouldn't be what defined a person let alone what they should be remembered as. The majority of Harry's life had been spent looking up to his sister and mother, they were the people who made him who he was. Now Gemma was the girl in the family who died from an overdose; something his aunts had to gossip about and his cousins to only to be conditioned into remembering her as nothing more.

The family didn't know why Gemma had started drinking or doing drugs; what they saw was only a glimpse to something that was bigger and unexplainable to those in her life. What they had was what she was doing and where she was heading but no reason to why it started which only gave their meddling selves a reason to point fingers and talk. Gemma's boyfriend and their mother had both been accused for the death of Harry's sister. Her boyfriend wasn't a stranger to the family and he never did anything to harm Gemma in any way, he loved her.

Everything about the whole situation was chaos to Harry; his aunts had done nothing but make his own mother feel like she was to blame. The few times he had visit before the death of his sister he would often find his mother stepping outside the room to try and keep herself together or crying herself to sleep, her tears were something he never wanted to witness and he felt helpless. Harry was always someone who wanted to help people, he wanted people to be happy. He would help his mom in the kitchen and it made her happy but that wouldn't fix anything now. He was no longer a child who believed life was simple and easy, instead of having his mom bandage a scraped knee he now has a sister who got too hurt to be bandaged and sent back outside to play. She was gone and Harry didn't have a sister he could call everyday like he used to.

Loneliness was what Harry felt when it came to Gemma's death. His sister had experienced everything with him and now that one person was gone. No one to completely understand and see things in the same light as he does. He was now alone in this world with billions of blurred faces that passed him on the streets; not a single glance in his direction nor a single thought of his mere existence. He knew his presence in the world was small but Gemma being gone only made that more perspicuous. He was alone in this world even with a roommate who paid half their rent and a mother who loved him unconditionally. It didn't make sense to him but it wasn't like anything else did either.

Lately, all Harry ever wanted to do was curl up in bed and forget the world that lied outside his bedroom door. He would want to call in sick for work and not have to worry about personal hygiene, but his roommate was one to help him do those things. For the past week and five days, Harry had been doing that both for his mother and himself. His mother knew he had been having a rough time for a while, he had always struggled throughout his childhood here and there with wandering a little too far as she would put it. "It's okay to wander but just be careful because the further you wander the harder it is to find your way back and I can't have my baby boy lost," is what his mother would say soon as she shook him out of his head.