Inexperienced | JENLISA

4

Fabio was lying across the bed waiting for his medieval mistress to release her chastity belt and finally let him claim Mayberry's flower from the garden she had beautifully prepared for him. He watched as she walked toward him while shedding her clothes, starting with her white cotton bra. He noticed her breasts were significantly different sizes, but he shook the revelation from his head and focused on the belt she was loosening around her waist. She dropped her underwear to reveal a silky patch of bright red curls that matched the same curls on her head. Fabio started to drool over the idea of being able to get lost in the curls on her head and in her magical garden...

"No, you can't write about curtains matching the drapes. Are you insane?" Jisoo asked from over my shoulder, scaring the ever-loving crap out of me.

"You guys can't keep doing that!" I yelled while covering my computer screen with my hand.

"Medieval mistress? You're better than that, Jennie."

"I know I am," I said, deflated. "To be honest, I don't even know if I want to do a medieval book anymore. The sex seems so clumsy with all that armor and whatnot. I mean, where does he put his sword? Just throw it to the side?"

"No, he sticks it in her pussy, duh."

Rolling my eyes, I shut my computer and grabbed my purse. "I'm not talking about his pork sword."

"Wow," Jisoo laughed. "Lisa told me you watched porn last night, but I didn't think she rubbed off on you that much."

"I can be sassy if I want," I responded with my head held high.

We walked out of the apartment and headed down the stairs, where we ran into Lisa who was carrying a box of pizza and a six-pack of beer. The woman could eat and drink anything she wanted and not gain a pound; how was that fair?

"Dinner, ladies?" she offered.

"Sorry, we have an appointment," I said quickly, as I tried to pass her, but was stopped of course by that smile on her face.

"What kind of appointment?"

"Time to pluck the bush out of the 'lady garden,'" Jisoo said while using air quotes. "Shredding the weeds."

Lisa raised an eyebrow at me, and then glanced down at my crotch.

"You all-natural down there, love?"

Covering my crotch with my hands, as if I wasn't wearing pants, I said, "Don't stare, and no. I'm trimmed."

"So then, what's the problem?"

"She's getting a wax," Jisoo stated.

Cringing, she looked at me with pity. "Damn, have fun with that. Show me later?" she wiggled her eyebrows, always a tease.

"Get out of here," I pushed her to the side and exited our apartment building.

As Jisoo and I walked to the subway, she talked about her day at Cosmo and having to test out different kinds of tampons...at least it wasn't cat poop scoopers. I would rather fondle a tampon any day over a certified shit sifter.

"So, Lisa seems to be interested in your new endeavors," Jisoo said while we were on the subway heading to the salon.

"Doesn't seem different to me," I shrugged my shoulders and checked my Instagram feed.

"Oh, come on, she's clearly interested in taking your virginity."

"What?!" I said while choking on my own saliva.

There was no way Lisa was interested in having sex with me. We've been friends since freshman year, practically sisters. The thought that she was even semi-interested in me was actually kind of hilarious. The woman saw me through my overall days during my freshman year in college, definitely not interested.