The Blue is Only a Distraction (Snowfall Angst Sh) WOF

Chapter 1: Coping in a bad way

Snowfall has been queen for less than half a year, and yet it's still too much for her, too many stupid problems, she wished there was a forever surrounding wall around her ice kingdom that would say KEEP OUT.

Then she could be safe.

Not safe. Nothing could ever be safe.

Maybe her murderery sister could murder her, and the nightwings could still come back. Every night she distracts herself, the deep blue is better than the stress. But it's not an effective strategy for all her problems. She's so overwhelmed.

It wasn't like pacing around the room was any better than hurting herself.

She has nightmares.

Their deep black scales, staring into her soul, ripping out her subjects, coating the snow with deep blue, then massacring all her kingdom. Darkstalker killing her.

Bloody images and memories replay in her mind and new nightmares are made.

The image of her mother popped up in her head.

The air around her was not airing properly. A small wheeze escaped her.

She swallowed, staring at her claws. She was, after all, in the same bed that her mother, Queen Glacier died on. Because of a Magical Plaque.

The advisors in her counselor were dumb. Everybody was out to get her. How was she supposed to trust that no good tribe of lying grumbles who wanted to kill everything? She shuddered, remembering when the news of Glacier's death struck her.

She was the new queen.

The stress is just too much.

Perhaps there was even a murdery sister in the shadows to kill and steal the throne. She had never figured out what Crystal was feeling when mother gave the throne to the middle child, Snowfall.

Hitching her shoulders down dejected, she screamed at herself inside.

And then there was a wall to do.

WHY CAN'T I BE GOOD? WHY WAS MOM NEVER SCARED OF ANYTHING? WHY DID SHE PICK ME? CRYSTAL COULD HAVE DONE THIS BETTER. NOW I HAVE TO LIVE IN FEAR OF THEM KILLING ME. EVERYBODY WANTS TO KILL ME!

Her claws are shaking, breaths are coming in and quickly out, her eyes catch her scar ridden scaled arms, faint blue lines mark her arms.

She wants to feel something else besides stress, anger, and sadness, and the pit in her stomach that longs for her missing forever mother.

Maybe harming yourself is not the most Queenly thing to do.

It is! You don't bother other dragons who you can't clearly trust! Her bruised and cut forearms were looking mighty tempting. Scrambling below her bed, she pulls out a small dagger,and positions the blade.

A sickening slice is quickly made. She watches the blue slowly form, the small stinging sensation fills her, she can control her own pain.

Shallow breaths escape the white dragon, which clear salty tears trickle down from her eyes, onto the floor, when she notices the blood on the floor.

WHO CARES?

Slice after slice, deeper after deeper, her arms are on fire. She barely can walk properly, stumbling onto her ice slab. Blood is forming tremendously, as she feels light headed but still angry. She's too spiraled out to tend to her wounds, Snowfall gives up before blacking out on her bed.

She wakes up in agony, a pool of blood has formed on her bed, and her eyes widen with shock. The once white dragon is covered. Covered in blood.

Snowfall's head had never felt so dizzy, and her eyes tracked around confused, in pain. Whimpering out, she brings out a talon, to see it is drenched in blue.

Hitching a breath, it hits her.

Managing to pull herself weakly, it takes all her strength. Blood is everywhere on her.

I need to get up. I could.. Die?

Her brain isn't working right now.

But wouldn't it be easier.

She flops down again, face first onto her ice slab, letting pain and burning sensation consume her, soft choking sounds are being made. She lets her eyes close.

Maybe I won't wake up, if I'm lucky. It's better to do nothing. I was going to be a horrible queen.

A small guilty thought followed her,

Mink. Would she inherit this awfulness?

But Crystal, could just.. Take it.

Thoughts were harder to form, fogginess clouding her mind.

She breathes in. And out.

An unfamiliar voice shouts at her, snapping away from her thoughts.

"Snowfall!"

It sounds like panicking?

A pale blue freckled dragon darted to her once peaceful room.

It sounded like crying.

Lynx.

Just let me die, fucking damnit...