The Empty "How Are You's?" Of My Life

"How are you feeling?" they ask me, they all do. Huh, even you asked me that. It's a routine. However, none of you want to know the truth; none of you want to hear my life story, and most certainly, none of you ask because you are concerned; it's a mere act of politeness. What you all want to hear is a short and empty "Fine" or maybe a "Good, thank you". Guess what?

Reality is harsh.

Reality made me cry a thousand times.

Reality, whether we like it or not, will always be like that. So you get what you expect, I guess...

"Fine, thanks"

But, if anyone ever wanted the truth, the big fat ugly truth, I'd have to tell them, "I feel like crap"...

How does that sound? Not so good now, you see. If I ever answered that, you'll all probably regret ever speaking to me.

So I just sit there, lying still as the world around me keeps spinning and spinning, until it all becomes a blur, and I go numb form any emotion; ignoring the truth, locking it deep down in my mind until no one, except me, knows about it. No one, apart from myself, suffers from it; in those moments just before unconsciousness every night, when my defenses lower and the box rattles, anxious to reveal what it beholds, until it suddenly bursts open, leaving me with dreadful dreams, nightmares, the whole night.

So, next time, if you are the exception, the one that really cares, then, when you see me smiling and going o around as in nothing were the matter, when you ask me "How are you?", look at me intently, more deeply. Just, take a few seconds and try to look behind that stupid facade I put on every day, the same one I've been carrying for God knows how long. Because, if you look closely, you will realise how that joy doesn't really reach my eyes, how I cringe whilst I curse at myself in my head every time others mention his name, how I avoid, by all means, to mention that same name, how, if you just take one moment, you can discover the truth, you can read me, just like an open book.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hey guys!! Just so you know, this is my first story in Wattpad EVER , so I would really appreciate it if you could comment;

I would ABSOLUTELY love some feedback!!

Oh! and if you want me to read your story tell me and I'll do my best to read it...

-avidreader