Killing Time [radiohead fanfiction]

One: What's Necessary

   I look in the mirror one last time before drying my hands off, the water I had previously splashed on my face does little to calm my nerves. Impulsively, I run my hands through my red curls, making sure my bangs fall perfectly to frame my face.
"This is it," I mumble, turning around to walk towards the bathroom door. My hand shakes as I turn the knob, signaling to my already exhausted parents that I'm finally ready.
"Finally!" Mom huffs loudly in her thick French accent. She grabs my arm forcefully and begins to pull me towards the administrative office, chastising me in her native tongue. The dragging causes me to trip over my feet a few times, the linoleum squeaking against my worn Converse. As my parents politely greet the headmaster, I take in the sheer size of his office. It's large, too large, with not enough windows to accommodate fresh sunlight. Despite the size of this room, I still manage to feel suffocated.

"You must be Mary Jane!" The headmaster says as I move around to take a seat in the overly cushioned chairs. He shakes my hand heartily, I almost fall over.
"Your wonderful parents have told me so much about you." He adds, gesturing to my parents. I smile in response, sitting down gracefully as my mother instructed.
"It's so nice to meet you, sir, I'm entirely grateful for this opportunity," I say, trying my best not to sound robotic. The headmaster compliments my attitude before leaning over to grab various papers which he hands to my father. He then turns to me, sympathetically furrowing his eyebrows.
"So, I've heard you've been accelerating far too much for your previous school, is that correct?"
"Yes, sir."
"Well, I'm glad to say we have an opening here for you at Abingdon, all-boys school!"
"Thank you very much, sir, I really can't express my gratitude for you," Once I finish speaking, my stomach drops. Surely I'm not attending an all-boys school, mom would have told me beforehand. There must be some sort of mistake or miscommunication. I glance at my mother for an explanation, she continues to smile like nothing happened. My eyes trail to my father next, who looks at the paperwork impatiently, not paying attention.
"All-boys?" I ask, "I'd be the only girl?" In the corner of my eye, I see my mom's hand twitch. She knew.
"Well, yes. Abingdon is a school with only male students. But your mother has been so kind to have convinced me to make an exception, and I don't make exceptions often." The headmaster says, finishing his statement with a wink. I clench my jaw tightly and swallow. I feel sick again.
"Wow sir, I wasn't aware of that. I can't thank you enough!" The smile I punctuate my sentence with is painful. I don't think the headmaster realizes its falseness because he responds with an even larger one.

My mind begins to wander as my parents sign various papers, confirming that I'll be going to an all-boys school. Shifting uncomfortably, countless thoughts fill my mind, so many in fact that I find it necessary to ask questions.
"How will I use the bathroom?",
"There's a few all-women's staff bathrooms for the teachers here. You'll be given a key which you may use at your leisure."
"This is a boarding school, will I have to share a room with a boy?"
"You'll be on an entirely different floor to reduce any incidents. It's the fifth floor, I'll show you to your room soon." The way he says 'incidents' leaves a bad taste in my mouth. By the way he says it, he's referring to sex. Not that I want to have sex or anything, (in fact the subject brings me discomfort), it pains me to know he's remotely thought about me having sex. I mean, I'm only 16.
"What about showering?", I question, trying to free my mind of my previous thoughts.
"Your dorm has a bathroom attached, we've installed it recently for your arrival."
"Oh really? That's so generous!" My gratitude is real, I couldn't imagine sharing a shower with anyone. However, I think if I had to, it may be considered illegal.
"Any other questions? I'm all ears!" The headmaster asks, rather enthusiastically.
"Hm. I think that's all of them."

Soon after my parents finish off with the paperwork, a box is placed on my lap. My parents look at me expectantly.
"It's your uniform." The headmaster explains, "It's been hand-tailored to fit the measurements your mother sent in." I glance up at mom, the weird spontaneous measurement session a few months ago making a lot more sense.
"Go try it on!" Mom says, squeezing my shoulders as a form of encouragement. Awkwardly, I go back into the bathroom where I was before, pulling off my sweater.

The uniform isn't bad. The skirt falls to my knees, it has a nice plaid pattern that bears the dark greens and blues of the school's crest. I pull the socks up which sit high on my shins, thankfully covering the majority of my legs. As I fix the buttons on my shirt, I can't help but notice its tightness. I was expecting it to be more unshapely on me, but instead, it wraps around the curve of my waist in an attractive way. Slightly embarrassed, I pull on the sweater vest next, which also hugs my ribcage in a tight fashion. It pains me to admit the uniform genuinely looked good on me, I had earnestly hoped it would look unappealing. I wished not to warrant any unnecessary attention from boys. Finally, I put on the jacket, buttoning it directly at the center. It was short, only covering down to my waist, which allowed ample opportunity to view the waistband of the skirt. I picked up the tie, unsure of how to wear it properly.
"You alright, darling?" I hear my mother call from the room over.
"Erm, the tie, I don't know how to put it on." Mom enters the bathroom, her cheery persona fading almost instantly. As the door clicks behind her, she snatches the tie from my hands, tying it around my neck ferociously.
"I told you not to ask questions, Mary Jane." She says bitterly.
"You didn't tell me I was attending a school for boys!" I whisper-shout.
"If I'd told you any earlier, you'd have fought and fought me."
"I shouldn't be left in the dark like this."
"Frankly, Mary Jane, I don't care. This is for your benefit."
"They'll bully me like last time! How am I benefiting from that?"
"Quiet down. Your education is what's of most importance." I open my mouth as if to protest more, but she puts a finger against my lips.
"Not another word from you." I shut up immediately, following her out of the restroom.

"Well, don't you just look beautiful? My little girls all grown up." My father says when he sees me. I beam at him, pretending the bathroom encounter never happened.
"Congratulations Mary Jane, you are now officially a student here at Abington. How do you feel?" The headmaster asks sincerely.
"Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant."