A Chip on Their Shoulder

Anything

Stan and Ford made it to the Mystery Shack after a full day of boating, sleeping, and doing old man things.

"Soos!" Stan called

"Mr. Pines!" Soos yelled before giving Stan a bear hug.

"Sweet Moses, Soos, put me down." Stan said struggling.

"Sorry Mr. Pines." Soos laughed.

"Soos, where's Bill!" Ford asked.

"Oh yeah, c'mon dudes." Soos said as they got in one of the Mystery Carts.

They drove through town chaotically before reaching the spot where Bill's statue used to be.

"Sweet Abraham." Ford said seeing the rocks and a "Shake Hand 100$" sign.

"Soos, what is that?" Ford asked, holding the sign.

"Oh, I had that price jacked up because people just kept shaking the dude's hand." Soos explained.

"Attaboy." Stan said, proud of Soos for the price jack up.

"So people already shook his hand?" Ford asked.

"Yeah, but I don't think I ever saw anyone act weird." Soos said.

"Hmm, interesting, where could you have scurried off to Cipher?" Ford asked, taking a knee, he looked at the broken stone left behind, not realizing a pair of eyes were on him.

A butterfly soon flew by.

"Oh cool, I forgot that the butterflies were migrating by now." Soos said.

"Set something sciencey up Ford, I'll check around town. See if folks have anything to say about this." Stan said.

"Okay Stanley will do." Ford replied looking at the rubble, "will do."

Dipper was talking to someone over the phone in his room.

"Yeah I know, I think that would work, yeah, see you over winter." Dipper said as the person he talked to hung up, it was currently November and Thanksgiving was a few days off.

He smiled before hearing a snicker from the closet.

"Ugh, Mabel, how many times have I told you not to listen in on me when I'm talking to someone over the phone?" Dipper asked as he opened the closet doors, seeing Mabel, Bill, and Waddles in there.

"Bill too?" Dipper asked.

"C'mon Pine Tree, if I'm going to be your servant, least I can do is be your wingman." Bill said smugly.

"It's not-" Dipper's voice cracked, "it's not like that." Dipper said.

"C'mon Dipper, Grunkle Stan taught me about that pituitary gland being small but having big plans, that forever haunts my nightmares!" Mabel yelled with joyous optimism.

"That's- that's pretty gross yeah, was that from the time you and I swapped bodies?" Dipper asked.

"Yep." Mabel said with the utmost confidence.

That's when a pair of bulging eyes watched them from the vents.

"Dipper, I can already see it, you break the bottle then a rabbi, or Grunkle Stan or Grunkle Ford, or me yell mozltof!" Mabel yelled in excitement.

"Yeah Pine Tree, then I could be Uncle Bill." Bill said with mockery in mind.

"Bill gross, and Mabel, it's not your business." Dipper said.

That's when a hand came from the vent and grabbed Bill and dragged him in.

"Bill!" Mabel yelled running to the vent as Bill screamed.