To Never Fall In Love 🤍 Boat/Lee

Chapter 6 ~ confused ~

How he got back to the yard in one piece, Champ had no idea. His hands were shaking, his chest was pounding and he literally felt like he couldn't breathe. What the fuck was Liam doing here in the UK and not just in the UK but in Kan's house with Kan and the guys.

What fucking lies had he told them that they were all buddies now? fuck it, it doesn't matter, it was just sex Champ, let it go for fuck's sake. No way could he go home and sleep after that, he may as well stay here and work on the rig and no one would bother him here.

He went into the men's bathroom and tried to wash himself up as best as he could grabbing the lemon dish soap to squeeze onto his hands then scrubbing them with the grotty nail brush the guys used.

Beck's would literally hoist him up by his balls if he used the kettle in the office with greased up hands. Drying his hands on his pants he walked back out of the bathroom and into the office to make himself a coffee then he sent Kan a text telling him he was at the yard and he was going to stay there for a while to work on the rig.

In a way he was glad he had gone straight to Kan's from the motorway, he could use it as an excuse to avoid going tomorrow, he wasn't really lying, just embellishing the facts.

"well don't stay too long, you need to get some sleep too, you look knackered mate" Kan had replied.

"yes dad  " Champ had texted back.

"fuck you, and don't forget to get your arse round here tomorrow" Kan wrote.

"I'll try, I can't promise" Champ replied.

Everyone sat around the table looking at Kan as he texted with Champ,

"what did he say? is he ok?" Liam asked.

"well, he's got back to his yard, he said he's staying there a bit to work on his lorry" Kan replied.

"he's not himself is he" Kiri said.

"no, he's not, this goes deeper than thinking you fucked off without saying goodbye mate, I think he really fucking loves you" Kan said to Liam.

Everyone watched as a glimmer of hope appeared on Liam's face and his eyes pooled with unshed tears.

"he's not like this, if someone pissed him off he would just say 'fuck them' and get on with it, I agree Kan" Andy said.

"where is this yard, should I go?" Liam asked.

"I'd leave it for a bit mate" Kan replied.

"it's already been several weeks, I just want to talk to him, to hold him and explain" Liam said.

"I know but you're not alone in this, you have all of us to support you too so just be patient for now" Kan said.

"would you guys excuse me" Liam said going back up to the guest room.

"yeah, we need to make tracks as well" Andy said as he and Lon stood up to go back to his house in the village.

"see you tomorrow guys, text me when you get home"

"will do, see you Kiri" Andy said.

"see you both" Kiri waved at them.

When the pair were left alone Kan voiced his concerns to his husband,

"I've never seen him like this Kiri, in all these years he's never been like this. Ian said he thought he was depressed and I'm thinking he's right, do you think I should have a word with him before Liam?"

"I know you're worried Kan but I think you should let Liam talk to him first then you can back him up if Champ doesn't believe him" Kiri replied.

"you're right I guess, I just don't like seeing him like this babes"

"none of us do but things will work out I promise you ... come on baby, lets go to bed" Kiri said taking his husbands hand and leading him inside the house.

Back at the yard Champ was still working, still trying not to think about Liam. He'd said he wanted to talk but what about? what could he possibly have to say? There was only one way to find out but Champ didn't know if he could be in Liam's company as friends, not now. 

He couldn't sit down with him over drinks and pretend that everything was ok because it wasn't. Liam had hurt him but the annoying thing was, it wasn't Liam's fault. They had both been players, Champ knew that, Liam was just being himself, it was Champ who had expected him to behave in a certain way, to treat him as if he'd meant more than a few fucks at the end.

It was all his fault for expecting too much and for liking Liam too much. He'd forgotten the motto that he'd lived his life by before meeting Liam 'to never fall in love'

He never really talked to Kan and the guys about his childhood, he and Kan had met in primary school and they just used to play, his home life didn't really come up.

Champs 'father' had left as soon as his mother had found herself pregnant and after giving birth she'd dumped her baby with anyone who would mind him while she continued to go out partying. 

As Champ had got older he'd found himself being passed from pillar to post until he'd found a permanent home with a friend of a friend who had taken pity on the young boy whose parents didn't want him.

That friend lived in Willow's Brook and everyone assumed she was Champs grandmother and he didn't correct them.

Kan had made his childhood feel normal and Kan's parents had made him feel welcomed and loved but still he held back. Sheila was the kind of woman who was a mother to everyone and she would tell everyone to address her as such but Champ was the only one who called her Mrs T

Kan had always wrongly assumed it was because Champ had wanted to be different but to address her more warmly was to admit he was fond of her and he was scared of losing her and Mr T ... they were the closest to parents he'd ever known.

Champ was more like Kiri and Lon than he'd ever let on, the only difference was that Kiri and Lon were orphans but he had parents but they didn't want him so fuck it. He'd left school at 16 and got a crappy job then taken driving lessons before starting to work for a driving company who would pay for him to take an HGV driver training course.

He'd worked for them until he was 19 then bought his own lorry, rented the yard and worked his ass off. He didn't do love, he didn't get close to people except Kan but even Kan didn't know everything because Champ didn't want his pity.

Everyone thought he was the man, strong and put together, someone who doesn't take any shit and who is popular with the ladies. He'd foolishly let down his guard with Liam but he couldn't blame Liam for that, it had been all his own doing.

Fuck this, he stood up and decided to go home, he'd go round to Kan's tomorrow and let Liam say what he wanted. He didn't see why he should stay away from his friends but the weird thing was, why would his friends become friends with one of his hook ups.

He looked at his watch, it was 10.30pm, he went back into the bathroom and scrubbed his hands again then washed his face. He decided to call at the local for last orders before going home, they might even put a pie in the oven for him too, he hadn't realised just how hungry he was.

Liam couldn't sleep, he couldn't stop thinking about Champs expression when he'd seen him, it had been a combination of shock and anger and a little fear too, it was the fight or flight response.

He hoped Champ would come again tomorrow and allow him to explain what had happened. Over the past few weeks Liam had wondered how he would feel when he finally saw Champ again and questioned if it was really love on his part?

As soon as he had seen him climbing down from that lorry, Liam knew he wanted him now just as much as he had back then on Koh Samui, his member hardened as he thought about how he had looked as he walked across the lawn of Kiri and Kans place.

He had to make him listen and understand, he had to get them both back on track then he was never leaving his side again, only death would take him from Champ this time.

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