boxer - woosan

Hard to Love (Rewritten)

A smile masked my guilt as I watched the latter swing open the glass door. Why am I guilty? Maybe it was the disappointed expression he had yesterday. Maybe it was the way I said it so flatly. Maybe it's because I like him...? Scratch the last guess. Maybe I was just a prick yesterday. "Are you ready?" My question was filled with timidness with the unforgettable moment continuously replaying my head.

"Give me a second," he grinned with a flash of discomfort, having a freight train of thoughts ram into me. He isn't angry? How is he not uncomfortable? Does his feelings for me before remain the same? My gaze was glued to the male. It hurt to keep my eyes away from him. Why? Even I don't know. Watching him put on his gloves and mouth guard was painstakingly slow. Was he teasing me, trying to test my patience? Or was time slowing down because I was excited for him to touch me, abuse me? Oh.

"Ready?" I asked.

He nodded, "Ready when you are."

"'Kay." Now I was regretting being pushy. It seemed easier to face him than I thought. Not any different from a few days ago, my shoulders tensed up and his sharp gaze made me want quit on the spot. However, he hired me for a reason, to be a good coach. And that's exactly who I'll be..ignoring all those times where I was huge prick towards him. "Fighting stance!" I shouted, signalling that the grapple was beginning.

I tried to let my gaze be as fierce as his, but it just didn't seem possible. It felt as if not even the scariest person alive could. Maybe because Choi San was the scariest person alive. Wooyoung, focus. I mentally snapped myself out of the mist of thoughts. Though San appeared fierce, something seemed off. He looked weaker than usual.

He threw a quick, crisp punch right at the gut. It was painfully but everything is painful as a boxer. Even the life outside. Focus.

Another punch thrown. Blocked. And another. Ouch. A roundhouse kick right at the crook of my neck. Shit that was painful. I need to wake up. Instead of spending the rest of the grapple defending, I decided to make a move. A shrimp kick straight at the stomach. But then something spiked my suspicions. The area felt too soft to be his stomach. I turned my head to notice a crouched San. Wrong spot.

"Shoot, San, are you okay?" I offered a hand out for him to take. The latter was still tightly holding onto his crotch, making small groans of pain.

"Yeah," he forced out, "Just the wrong spot," he chuckled stiffly. 

"Sorry about that, need a break?"

"No," he said lowly. I nodded in response, returning to the original fighting stance. He threw a half-hearted kick near the hip flexor, making it effortless to dodge. This is going to be a long practice.

"Wooyoung, can we please take a break? It feels like we've been grappling for hours now," he plead.

"I just offered you one," Wooyoung sneered, "Fine, three minute break." 

He dropped his fighting stance harshly, seemingly having zero energy whatsoever. 

"Is everything okay?" Wooyoung asked,  concern bubbling in his guts. He wasn't acting like the fierce Choi San Wooyoung knew. Dark spots surrounded his eyes, his golden tan skin was now pale, maybe even grey. His fierce gaze was still there, but something was off.

"Don't know, to be honest with you. I feel a bit tired."

"Why?"

"I couldn't sleep."

"Why?"

"Worried about you."

"Me? What do you mean?"

"What do you mean 'what do you mean?' You went down with a terrible fever and don't expect me to be worried?" 

Wooyoung's eyes enlarged. My sickness wasn't that serious, and he spent last night with his mind on me? "T-thanks," I said as I pressed the plastic bottle against my parted lips. San responded with a hum.

He let out a big sigh and faced towards me. "Wooyoung, I care for you, a lot. Why can't you see that? Why do you hate me so much? I came over to your apartment and fed you, twice. But it seems like nothing is working. What can I do just to make you like me? It doesn't even have to be in a romantic way, I just want you to like me at least a little. I've been through enough one-sided loves to be okay with it. So, Wooyoung, can you please tell me what I need to fix? I promise you I'll do anything, and I mean anything."

Eyes were widened, mouth was gaped open, shaky expiration. I was more than speechless. "San- I-I...I don't know what to say, really." My breath hitched. The silence was loud. "Can I be honest with you?"

"Please."

"I...how do I word this?" I mumbled. "I really, really, really do like you." It seems like those seven words added color to San's face. "But I don't think that's something I'm ready to accept. I've never liked anyone in my whole life. Never in middle school, high school, and even in my college. I just don't know how to feel about experiencing this feeling. My tummy feels all ticklish and warm when I see you. A burning sensation floods my cheeks. I don't know if I enjoy this feeling or vice versa. Maybe it's the fear of rejection that bubbles inside. I don't know, Sa-" I was unable to finish his words as he felt a pair of soft lips onto his. I was shocked, but I didn't bother to complain. But I just stood there. Shocked and frozen. 

San pulled his face apart and his face flushed with a deep red. "Shit, Wooyoung, I'm sorry. I-"

My lip shook. "I...I have to go. I think I'll see you tomorrow." I didn't need to hesitate to messily gather my belongings and burst out of the room.

No fucking way. 

(a/n: i finished four chapter in an hour?! lwk really proud of myself. i'm literally supposed to be doing homework rn and i'm failing rn.) )