loveless and hatemore

kabhie aap logon ne kisise pyar kiya?

kabhie aap logon ne ksise pyar kiya hai?

kiya hi hoga ...sab karte hai aur uska end happy nhi hota and its okkk but mujhe pta hai yeh kehna easy hai and relaity is complex but life is so much more than the person you are running behind ...soo, mera dimag ek decision par nhi tikta toh humare breakup ko aaj 1 month ho gya hai and during the process i took some ajeeb steps which just show me obsessive and i agree ki mein thi uss insan ke liye and reality yeh hai ki he was just using me and i let him use me and it was so toxic that  he made me insecure,desperate to talk to him but its fine aur mein yeh bilkul nhi keh rhi ki meine usse maaf kardiya but mein abh uspar time waste nhi karungi mera point yeh hai ki love should be and must be just peaceful as sharukh khan once said, "

Pyar dosti hai ... agar woh meri sab se achchi dost nahin ban sakti, to main usse kabhi pyar kar hi nahi sakta ... kyun ki dosti bina toh pyar hota hi nahin ... simple, pyar dosti hai"                                                                                                                                                                                                              and i feel its true and meine bhut koshish ki ki mein usse bhula dunn by taking help ogf someone else like , rebound par nhi hua yaar mujhse ..kyuki voh sab karna nhi chahti mein mein uski tarah apne standards nhi girra sakti and mein yeh nhi bol rhi ki ladko ke liye esay hota hai move on karna ...nhiii bilkul nhi..its irrespective of any gender .the one who truly loves suffers more and mein yeh bhi nhi kehna chahti voh pyar tha kyuki it was just bunch of emotions which i felt at extreme ..as my counsellor said ki "iss age mein itne serious emotions nhi hote-just an attraction either physical or emotional"

and i realised this but not in a good way aur mein ek iasi bacchi rahi hoon jo kabhie baat nhi sunti kud experiment karti hai phir kuch seekhti hai and i fear to fall in love and trust someone but i know i will eventually fall in love kyuki janab life ek hi hai and i want to enjoy it fully with a little bit of crazinesss,seriousness,liveliness,enjoyfullness etc like kabir once said in yjhd 

"Main udna chahta hoon, daudna chahta hoon, girna bhi chahta hoon ... bus rukna nahi chahta"

Mein karna toh sab chati hoon par mere parents bhut strict hai yeh toh hai par meri harkatte kuch aisi hi hai ki restrictions lagni chahiye par i dont like it par theek hai ek baar todha career set karle phir udenge poora  ..vese ladies and gentleman abhi kaafi story hai meri life ki par dheere dheer pta chalegi toh byee doodles😊