The next morning I was woken up by the alarm of two people talking. One voice I recognised straight away, it was my mum but I didn’t know the other voice. It was deep and muffled and you couldn’t hear all the things because of the blurring. But I listened. Hiding under the covers I lay quietly.
“Is she going to be fine?” My mum said to the man. My ears now listened even more after hearing that they were talking about me.
“Maybe. There is a big possibility that she might have...” He said stopping before he finished.
“She might have cancer because we have found lumps on her hands. This is why she has found things harder, for example to pick heavy things up. This will probably include x-rays and an operation and...” He stopped before he said anything else. He had probably seen my mum’s expression so he left the room, gently closing the door. But for a while he stared through a gap.
My heart pounded, hurting me. My face shocked. What will happen? I thought. Will I die?
I heard footsteps coming closer to me. My mum had grabbed the thin cover and pulled it down so she could see my face. I closed my eyes firmly. Hoping she wouldn’t realise that I heard everything. For a moment I felt her breath hitting me in the face. She grabbed my weak arm and held it tight. Faking to sleep was not as easy as it looked after all.
My hands started to shake and I felt her gripping me even tighter, beginning to pinch me. She examined my bruised hand. I had to react. I pushed my hand out of hers and close to my body where I took care of it. I didn’t want her to see my hand. I didn’t want her here, with me; I wanted to be on my own with my toys in my room.
After a long period of time she left me on my own like I wanted to be.
The days past and I was still here in this room, on my own. I began to feel more disappointed in myself and didn’t feel like talking to anyone who entered my room. I cried more often and felt like my body was slowly dying. The lumps that the man mentioned a lot began to grow and spread. I wasn’t bothered. Seeing people happy was annoying and I was jealous at families because I had never experienced something good. When I was 2 my dad died of cancer (probably I got it from him). I never really knew him a lot so I wasn’t bothered.
Over the past few days I closed all the things that worried me and kept them to myself. My mum often came to visit me but she would just stare at me and uncomfortably hold my hand like if I needed help. But did I. I thought. Do I need help.
The doctors visited me quit often but otherwise no one except my mum. Well who else was I expecting? The illness, called cancer was killing me. I felt worse every day and usually when I woke up I would find handfuls of hair on my pillow that had fallen out. My mind raced like a car. I didn’t know what to think about. Could something help me?
After a while I felt useless and felt like talking to my mum would help instead of laying here. My lips started to open and make a noise. I spoke calmly to her but my mum was still croaky. I felt better...More relieved. But again mum left.
That night I stay awake longer. I felt the cold breeze on my face, the darkness freaked me out. My head started to ache and I found a new lump on my wrist and back. All my body was numb and in the morning I realised there were even more lumps. Stiff like a old bed I sat up but then slipped delicately under the cover and fell asleep again.
A dog ran to me, my dog. It licked my face but...It all changed. The place was dark and my dog had left me. I saw my mum leaving me. I ran after her using all the strength I had but now she was definitely away. I was left on myself. Everyone, everyone left me!
I woke up, tears in my eyes, my face red hot and I was covered with sweat. Finally the nightmare exited my head. I screamed, choked, and did every possible thing to get attention. My head went and I started to breathe unevenly. Coughing in between.
People ran into my room. I saw my mum running, tears in her eyes. She was scared. Probably she thought that she has a child that is an idiot. Some people ran towards me who I didn’t even know. I panicked while strangers tried to calm me down. All of a sudden I realised I that blood leaked out of my lump with yellow goo.
I screamed, shouted and cried now. I had been doing this for a long time when suddenly I had forgotten everything. I felt dizzy and the people who were shouting didn’t help. I had fell unconscious. Everything fell silent except my mum shouting in the background.
