Confession

In a drunken moment the previous evening I had confessed to dressing at times during our marriage. I then told of being disgusted with myself and throwing everything away only to buy more later. Once I had started everything came out, sober I would have never said a thing but drink loosens the tongue and elevates guilt in my case. It is one reason why I rarely drink. She sent me to bed in the spare room and said we would talk in the morning and that she expected nothing less than the truth. I did not sleep well.

The morning after she reminded me what I had said, I feared divorce and ridicule. Her face was expressionless at the breakfast table as she wanted to know how much clothing I had now, just some items of underwear and a pair of stockings I told her truthfully. I squirmed as I was interrogated, how I wished I had kept my mouth shut, but now it was all out there I had to be truthful. I confessed it was why my first wife divorced me, I had agreed to divorce on the grounds of my adultery just to keep my cross dressing out of it. I had never committed adultery. Even my fantasies about being dominated came out. She wanted to know if other women were involved and I admitted that before my first marriage I had visited a professional dominatrix. Philippa wanted to know if I had been since, no I told her mainly because of expense and a feeling of let down after because it had all been so impersonal and then once I was married it would have seemed like I was cheating on my wife. What was it about submission, came the question. It was loss of power, it was the humiliation, the pain of corporal punishment, the need to submit, all came into it. Then the bomb was dropped, she wanted to see me in what I had, there was no discussion and she would see me in the spare bedroom, I was dismissed with a wave of the hand.

In the spare bedroom I stood nervously in bra, panties and hold up stockings regretting now that I had said anything at all. Philippa took her time, making me wait which is what I deserved. Eventually she came through the door, she had put on her heels which made her taller than me. She was carrying an old fashioned clothes brush 'bend over' she snapped, I hesitated 'now' she barked, I bent over. The first hard blow with the flat back of the brush jolted me bolt upright 'I didn't say you could stand', I bent again to get another twelve strokes. 'Stand' she commanded and saw that I had an erection in my panties which was slapped with the brush. I collapsed to my knees in pain holding the now deflated penis. She turned 'you can stay in that for the rest of the day and get some slippers on, you don't want to ruin your stockings'. I looked up at her back 'Philippa?', she turned back 'it is Miss Philippa to you' she stared me down, I had never seen her like this before 'yes Miss Philippa' I said meekly. She left the room without bothering to hear what I was going to say.

Philippa was in the lounge where I found her 'sit down' she said. When I moved toward an armchair she said 'on that stool', I was so keen to get on her good side that I complied and sat with my knees above the level of my hips. 'You have a decision to make, you either leave home or you stay and do as I say, when I say it' no questions and no dissent, do you understand', I nodded 'yes', her eyes bored into me 'yes, what?' she snapped 'yes, I understand Miss Philippa', I was out of my depth. 'What is your decision?' I stammered 'I didn't realise you meant now'. Philippa grimaced 'what part of no dissent did you not understand sissy?', I reddened 'sorry Miss Philippa, I will stay if you allow me to'. There it was, she called me sissy and I sat awkwardly on the stool and took it. I felt myself semi erecting and hoped that it would go down before I had to stand up. 'Go and make me a coffee', she commanded, I swivelled on the stool to hide my semi. 'Turn round' she said, I did and the evidence was plain to see 'come here', a small smile playing on her lips. I approached and she took hold of me through the panties 'well, look at this, my little sissy is turned on' she looked up 'and blushing like a little girl too', she twisted and I gasped 'you had better learn to control this or I will control it for you' she squeezed and twisted until squealed then she let go 'coffee, now', I limped out hurting. I had dreamed of this type of situation for so long and now I had it my mind was in turmoil, did I really want this? my returning erection answered for me. In the kitchen I filled a plastic bag with ice from the freezer and placed it on my groin to get my growing penis down, thankfully it worked. I delivered the coffee on a tray. 'Is there anything you want to ask sissy?', sensing a trap I said 'no Miss Philippa', she took a sip then said 'you may sit', not wishing to provoke her ire further I resumed sitting on the stool. Philippa had called me sissy again and I did not challenge that but here I am in bra and knickers so what could I say, not only that but I had bought them myself and they were pink. 'I am willing to keep you here but I decide what you do, what you wear and what you eat and drink', she let that sink in before continuing 'you will have your thoughts of course but you keep them to yourself'. She looked waiting for me to say something 'yes Miss Philippa' was all I said. She slowly drew up her skirt to expose her panties 'this is off limits unless and until I say and you will service me how I say', I could not take my eyes from her panties and was trying  without success not to erect. Looking down she told me that 'we will have to do something about that' without specifying what, she left the skirt hitched. 'Bag all your underwear and bring it down, go' waving me away with what would soon be a familiar gesture that would not require words. When I returned with the bag she told me to put it in the rubbish bin. That was out on the front drive waiting for collection tomorrow and that would mean the risk of exposure, she sensed my reticence 'this house is isolated and if you run you will not be seen'. I ran to the bin. 'Good girl' she said as I returned, I said nothing, I felt she was trying to provoke a reaction and I would be out. Philippa tossed an unopened pack of white Sloggi panties to me 'those will do until I get you something more appropriate', they were the type she wore at a certain time of the month. 'Have a pair on in the morning after your shower and set your alarm for 7' she paused 'you will shower every morning from now on, you do not take days off from a shower', it was clear that every facet of my day would be organised. I felt she would get bored with it after a week or so and everything would get back to normal, I just had to wait it out and not antagonise her. I could put up with being called girl and sissy.

The alarm went off at 7 and I got out of bed and took a shower then put on the white panties. I went down the stairs 'good morning' I said in what I hoped was a cheery voice, Philippa looked me up and down 'where is the bra and stockings?'. I stopped in my tracks 'get them on Sissy', I turned and fled back upstairs. Hastily getting the missing items and slippers on I hurried back down. She had the clothes brush in her hand 'bend over the table', I did, 'I will discipline you until you get it right'. The first stroke was hard and I clenched my jaw 'you come properly dressed as I dictate', I did not risk telling her that she made no mention of bra and stockings. The second stroke was harder, I gasped 'you are a sissy and don't forget it'. After the third stroke she asked 'what are you?, almost crying I replied 'a sissy'. The fourth stroke seemed even harder 'a sissy, what?' another stroke 'a sissy Miss Philippa' a sob caught in my throat, voice trembling. The fifth stroke 'how do you greet me first thing?'. The sixth stroke 'good morning Miss Philippa'. She put down the brush, that is much better. 'get your breakfast muesli'. I never ate muesli but that day I did. I swallowed between sobs. 'If you are not happy' she said 'you can leave, I am not going to force this on you but it is a condition if you stay here'. I took a deep breath 'I want to stay Miss Philippa, I will do what you want'. She smiled 'good girl'.