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"so when i die, which i must do. could it shine down here with you?" - mitski, my love all mine
everything had fallen apart for alianna, her heart had been shattered into a million pieces as the news spread among the family.
"did you know about it?" she turned to her brother with furrowed brows and tears dropping down her cheeks, "ali." he sighed, his face fell. "oh my god." her voice became shaky.
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she laid down next to her mom and josh — crying her eyes out. it was even worse that her own brother knew and didn't tell her.
she really thought that she could trust him, but it wasn't his fault, it wasn't his place to say. with tears rolling down her cheeks, and her hugging onto her mom tightly — the pain in her chest began to come back.
alianna felt so angry — maybe at the world. demanding to know why it had taken away one of the most important people in life from her.
she loved, loves. susannah so much — she couldn't comprehend the thought of losing her. and she couldn't understand the pain jeremiah and conrad would be going through.
do you ever feel like life is just one big rollercoaster? with endless ups and downs, sometimes you just wanna get off. but you know you can't. so you just let it take you to the top... and then throw you right back down. and you just have to take it, that's exactly how alianna felt.
she just wanted to get off the ride, with everything going on she wanted to get off. but she couldn't. she had to be the bigger person and stick through it. but how could she?
as she rolled over onto her side, she saw conrad walk into his bedroom. "i'll be back." she got up from the bed leaving her mom and brother.
she was tired of trying to be strong and act like everything was okay when it wasn't. but she also had to be there for her family. so she took a deep breath and walked over to check on conrad.
"hey, i know things are really hard right now, but i'm here for you." she said with a comforting smile. conrad didn't say much in response. his eyes were red and swollen from crying and he seemed like he was trying not to break down again.
alianna could tell that he appreciated having her there though, even if he wasn't ready to open up yet. for a moment, the two of them just stood there in silence until conrad finally spoke up. "thank you." he said softly.
"i'm sorry." he spoke gently. alianna looks up at him, "for what?" her gaze softens. "for not telling you."
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in the dining room, the three family's eat take out and pasta because pasta is the only laurle can cook without burning it.
everyone acted like nothing happened, but something did happen. alianna tried her best to put on a smile but just couldn't.
