Ace of Spades [Insight Story]

Chapter 1

I can often reminisce about my first memory, being held by my mom or helping my father take his large, heavy boots as he returned from work. Sometimes, I can even smell the shampoo my mom would use to bathe me when I was only 5 or 6. Or even the crisp sound of the leaves, as me and my dad would rake them in the fall. Moments like these would always feel like they would never change, but in the end, they did.

           Presently, I am sitting on this computer and thinking about what to write. imagining a world where I can be free in a way. Of course, there would be the worry of how to get money, even a job perhaps. But I would have a moment where I could feel like I am one in oblivion. Life can get pretty hectic and often find myself in a struggle on what to do. It is not a sincere way where I tend to say, "I am depressed today." I always phrases like that stupid. 

There are times where I would sit in my room and ponder what I would be doing, or sometimes I wouldn't be thinking at all. This is mostly what life is in a way, a story you build on your own with some characters in mind, like people that come into your life but soon walk out or something further happens.

I always hold grudges against myself as sometimes I would feel as if I didn't spend much time with family, or friends. Most importantly my family, however. I always tried to be the 'perfect' image child my parents wanted me to be, but that can get exhausting after countless hours of homework and decently good grades that wouldn't match up with the effort you put into work. It's stupid how the school system works sometimes but who is it really to blame when it comes to school? The student who procrastinates and never gets work done, or the student who is looked down upon once they make one simple mistake. Me? I am both. Never necessarily a student who would have the most outstanding grades in school but I still tried. At least I would hope I tried hard enough.