500 Pages: InuOkko

Chapter 9

The last thing Toge expected to find on the floor of his bedroom was an envelope. It was the early hours of the morning, and the silver-haired man knew that if he had a chance at beating Yuuta in the body contest, it would take drastic sacrifices. A few days had passed since the initial wager, and all he had managed to do was cut his water weight.

Toge picked up the envelope, admiring the perfect seal. Not many people had the ability to seal something so seamlessly without ripples in the snow-white paper. It must have been mail that he didn't pick up from Maki. Toge flipped it over to see his name written in dramatic calligraphy.

He slid his finger under the corner of the seal, breaking it open and peeling the envelope's mouth apart. Inside was a sheet of notebook paper. Toge felt his cheeks warm as his fingers squeezed into the paper. When he pulled out the piece of notebook paper, Toge unfolded it to see the handwritten letter.

--

Dear Toge,

I know this is odd. We don't have to talk about it, and if you want, I can stop, but consider this my first message to you. I gave you a notebook with 500 pages to write to me. I know I have said it before, but I am sorry I never let you reach me, regardless of circumstances.

I will write you a letter every day, even though we are in the same house. Consider these a token of my apology as well as an olive branch for the future. You made me happy when we were teenagers. It was the first time in my life after everything happened to me that someone saw me as a person, and not just as a subject.

I remember every word I said to you. I remember everything you did for me. When we were apart, I looked forward to seeing you again. You were my green light over the lake, you were a reason to keep moving forward. Now that I am here, I don't know how to feel.

It's hard for me. It's hard to know that in many ways people view me as new or temporary when I lived here for seventeen years. I can't just sit around and let life happen to me. This is me fighting for my right to survive here.

You've given me a good welcome. You've given me more than I deserve. I will always appreciate that you did this for me. I will always think about you.

Thank you for everything,

Okkotsu Yuuta

--

Yuuta was so goofy sometimes. He was trying to be sweet. He was trying his hardest. Toge attempted not to crush the edges of the paper, but it was proving to be a more difficult task as he choked back the tears from exiting his eyes.

The letter Yuuta wrote was a declaration. It was a campaign that Toge couldn't refuse. When they spoke, the words were always coated in regret. They were folded in gentle layers of anguish that neither man wished to extinguish. The only question that weighed on Toge's mind was how to react.

Later in the morning, the men came face to face. There were tired circles tracing the edges of Yuuta's pale winter cheeks. The pools of sapphire that were Yuuta's eyes were bathed in red exhaustion, but his cheeks were warmed with an even darker crimson. Was he embarrassed? Toge hadn't addressed it, nor him other than a cheerful wave like a typical morning.

The silver-haired man knew the instructions on the letter were only tentative to his doing; after all, no one controlled Toge's will. But he couldn't help but feel a need to comfort Yuuta in his campaign. How many letters would Yuuta write without a reply? How many times would the man expose himself to the blade of Toge's judgment without a result to show for it? What was his point?

Toge raised his hands, catching Yuuta's attention as he signed, "You remember every word?"

Yuuta's eyes widened as he curled his lips, "Yes."