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The loud crash of the lamp close to the door woke him up, an average man would have been up and alert looking for a form of defense from the unwanted burglar, but he knew better.
He knew who it was and it was no burglar.
"Shit" the female cursed as her toe hit the chair even though she was very familiar with the entire furniture arrangement and location.
She continued her wavering strides towards the parlor.
Why does the floor keep moving? Be still goddamit.
"It's lonelyy at the top, oh when t-the lights –" she sang as she bumped into the couch.
He rushed to help her, catching her before she falls.
"Baby? Are you okay?" ignoring him she continued singing.
"Oh when t-the light goes offff" she sang. Her breath, hitting him with the pungent smell of alcohol "and the cheering stops" no, not again. He tighten his arm across her waist.
The familiar weight of sadness came nesting in his heart, this couldn't keep going on, and if this continued she was going to kill herself. The love of his life was going to kill herself and it was all his fault.
"Babe, you can't keep coming home this late, it is very dangerous what if something had happ-"
"You got no good friend, no place to call homeee" she continued singing sultry, trying to free herself from his warm embrace, it was futile and she was getting more irritated by the nerve of this guy.
"I was worried, i-I don't know what I would have done if I lost you too" he whispered that last part, his heart aching. She suddenly looked at him despite her graze losing focus from the over-powering effect of alcohol. She stared at him intently.
She slapped him. He didn't flinch.
It was becoming a routine now, the guilt and the blame – that, he could bear but he couldn't bear to see her lose herself.
"Worried?" she spat accusely, tears forming in her eyes "don't give me lies – were you worried about her when you left her?"
She said hitting his chest at each word, tears spilling "If you were truly worried about her, she would still be here. It's all your fault" she lashed out bitterly, now hitting his chest weakly.
Still holding her, he leaned towards her until his forehead was touching hers.
"I know" he whispered painfully.
"She was all we had"
"I know"
"And you let her go"
"I'm sorry"
They were both heartbroken as they couldn't find relief in each other's arms anymore.
He looked at his wife as he carried her bridal style to their bedroom, placed her softly on the bed, removed her shoes covered her up, kissed her forehead softly and for a moment he thought he saw a small smile but it vanished all too quickly.
He laid on the bed facing his wife, caressing her cheek and felt stickiness of uncleaned tears, tears that was there because of him and he hated himself for it.
"You got a good doggy with no bones, a good doggy – no bones, a good doggy no...." she weakly sang their daughter's favorite cartoon theme song as she drifted off to sleep.
Their marriage as far back as he could remember was full of bad memories, and was towering the few good ones they had which still kept a smile on his face - that was a rare thing nowadays.
There was a rift between them that made them bleed and it was draining the life out of them, but all he could see was the once happy face of his wife. TEN
