Warning - lot of violence lots of talk is death and talk of guns being used on the self talk of blood
please please do not read if you a trigger but talk
Of Someone hurting there self
Warning please please please do not read if you are triggered by suicidal people
A man that everyone feared the evil looks he give could make anyone run the other way
make grown man hide even cry
but what they don't see is the little boy that he would hide in his self protecting because he has been hurt abused put down told his not good enough a little boy that had big dreams coming crashing down only at the age of 8 the day his whole life changed and not for the better the little boy he hides to protect because no one else did after that one horrible day
8 years old your meant to be thinking of what bike you want to ride what toy you want to play not what kind of shirt and pants your going to wear to your own mothers funeral the only person that protected him for all the bad in life only showing him the good
she didn't want for her kids to see her die cancer is a horrible thing no one wants to see there mother slowly die from cancer but no little boy wants to find his mum in a car dead because she thought it would be better to killed her self then her kids watch her die but was it was it better for that little 8 year old boy
an 8 years old boy crying holding his mother hand while trying begging for someone to help holding the gun that his mum once held to end this all
standing around watching all the people yelling being dragged away from the only person that once kept him warm and safe the one that told him anything is possible if you wish hard enough for it
so why was she not coming back to him because man he wished so hard
everyone running around yelling at him what happened what happened but if he knew would he have told them already all he knew is that he wanted to show his mum what he got from his teacher the art work that was once in his hand is now blowing down the road with the wind
The little 8 year old boy standing on the edge of the road he look over at his art work blowing away little did he know that was his last peace of innocence and happiness
He look down at the gun he held in his hand the same gun he took from his mothers everyone is to busy yelling not seeing the little boy covers in his own mothers blood or maybe that just didn't care to notice him
one more look at his mother before they took her away forever she looked peaceful so why did he feel so broken so mad how could he move on
standing in the room full of white flowers she hated white flowers she like yellow she loved yellow
she hated black but everyone was wearing black she hated seeing people cry but everyone one was crying
his sibling crying nexts to him his dad with a straight face but a single tear dripped he older sister held him but he couldn't cry not that he wasn't sad but he cried so much that day there nothing left
leaving the place that his mother is still in everyone standing on the grass with sun shining everyone one saying that there so so sorry to him but why are they sorry because he found his mother or because she died or maybe because now he lost all hope he gave up on it the day he watch the people cover his mother up with a simple white sheet
he stand there watching his dad every move how he hugged and shocked hands the way he would give the small kids a slight smile
getting back in the car going home driving and coming to a stop his dad got out greeting everyone that came for what a after party he never understood why there was a after thing where everyone one went in side to drink and eat while he say at the top of the drive way the last place he held his mother hand the laughter coming from in the house how could they laugh when he had just said his last good bye to his mother and best friend
walking back in the house his mother once stand waiting for her kids to greet them with open arms and lots of kisses asking how their school day was was now full with strange people he didn't know but some how they all knew him everyone telling their favourite story's about his mother
looking at the windrow the sweet sound of the wind bowing through the trees its like he could hear his mum sweet whispers like she would do in his ear while combing her finger's through his hair to get him to sleep he watch the sun slowly go down he could hear his father saying good bye to the last couple of people there he slowly sliped in to his bed lettings his eye fall close
morning came insted of the sweet smell of beacon and eggs it was the awful smell of
Alcohol and instead of his mum sweet voice you could here his father screaming on the phone
the one thing that heated about his father is that he treated him so badly he would hit punch throw whatever he could at him over the littlest things he once kidded the hell out of him because he dropped a egg
he would never cry because he didn't want to give his dad the satisfaction he would hear his mums sobs and begs for him to stop but his dad would just push her away he would stop and his mum would rush over and kiss his head telling him how sorry she is but it was not her fault so he never understood why she would say she sorry even the it would make him fell better
the horses was he favourite get away from everything even though his mother would be scared he would get hurt only being 8 and riding horses 2 time his size he would get up every day carried 4 water down the back and the walk all the way back up the long drive way back to under the house to get the food and come back down brush them and wave good bye to every single one before running to the bus stop so he didn't miss the bus
