☆- 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐈𝐃𝐎𝐋

I cant take this anymore

*the next day*
TOMS POV
Fuck. What did I get myself into? Why am I actually caring for this slut? I should be using her, for her body, and not actually like her, or take care of her. I need to stop being such a pussy. I only date girls for their looks, the sex, not for who they actually are. What the fuck is wrong with me? Why am I being so sensitive with her? I'm not supposed to be like this. If my girlfriend finds out about how I am with Madeline, I won't be able to get back with her, she will actually kill me. Shit, shit, SHIT.

MADELINE'S POV
I look at Tom and notice that he looks worried, zoned out. I've noticed he's not the same ever since the incident happened. Did I do something wrong?
He looks like he's about to get killed, on the verge of tears. He rocks back and forth on the chair and doesn't blink whilst staring at the floor.

"Everything okay Tom?" I asked. "Oh,um, yes! Of course! Why wouldn't it be babe? I've got y-you" He said stuttering and in a worried voice. "I don't think you are Tom, what's going on? You can tell me anything. I promise, I won't tell anyone", I stated.
"It's nothing, I promise. I'm okay as long as you are okay".

I shrug my shoulders in acceptance as I look away from him and turn the TV on, trying to move onto another subject and not worry about him. The first thing that was playing was F.R.I.E.N.D.S, perfect, my favourite TV show.

As the TV was playing in the background, I hear Tom mumbling, but I can't seem to figure out what he is saying. I ignore it and just keep on watching the show, and I don't look back at him. The mumbling starts getting louder. And louder. And louder.

"Tom, you aren't okay. And it's okay to not be okay, you don't need to hide anything from me. I won't tell a single soul, I promise you, I won't even tell my best friend. Just please, tell me what's going ok with you, I'm staring to get really worried about you" I pointed out. "What do you mean babe? I'm perfectly fine and okay. There is nothing that you need to worry about except yourself y/n. There isn't anything going on with me, promise." Tom responded back to.

TOMS POV
I can't tell her. I would get killed if anyone found out, I would've been betraying her, she is going to find out no matter what if I tell her.

"I'm gonna go the the restroom real quick babe" I uttered as I quickly walked out of the room and slammed the door.

As soon as I left, tears came pouring out of my eyes, I couldn't stop, it was like a never ending fountain of tears. I quickly run outside to the parking lot and let out a huge cry and drop my knees to the floor.

I can't take this anymore. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't.I can't.I can't.I can't.I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't.I can't.I can't.I can't.I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't.I can't.I can't.I can't.I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't.I can't.I can't.I can't.I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't.I can't.I can't.I can't.I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't.I can't.I can't.I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't.I can't.I can't.I can't.

Why do I always have to get myself into these situations? Gosh, I'm so fucking STUPID. I should just die already, I shouldn't be alive for what I've done. I'm such an utterly disgusting person. I don't deserve to be alive. I don't deserve to have anything, not even food, nothing. Absolutely nothing.

I want to tell y/n, but I just can't. She is too nice for this cruel, evil world. No man deserves her. No man is good enough for her sweet soul. She's just a sweet girl, trying to get better. But of course, my nosy ass had to ruin her life. Currently, she has been in a hospital for 2 days now, because of me. I'm the one that made her like this. It's all my fault, of course it is. I'm a terrible person that doesn't deserve to even exist. I ruined a girls life, just because I was horny and desperate. Gosh, I'm actually so fucked up in the head.