Taxi: Sarah & Tom

Chapter 4: Sarah

Sarah

Jackson doesn't say much to me when we leave. As in, he gives me one word answers to the three questions I ask. His day was fun, yes, he is excited to go home and see his day, and no, he doesn't want any of the snacks I brough. He also makes sure to tell me that he doesn't like the songs from the musical that he and Tom watched.

I decide that the best bet is to not push him, and let him relax from pre-K for a little while. I remember how overwhelmed I could be after school, so I understand that he may need to decompress a bit. I turn on the radio at a low volume so that it sounds almost like white noise. We're almost to his dad's house when he does initiate a conversation with me, although I never would have been able to guess what he was going to say.

"What does it mean to break up?" My eyes cut to the rearview mirror and I can see that Jackson looks pretty relaxed, playing with one of his car fidget toys that Tom has stashed everywhere.

"Um, well...I guess it usually means that two people who are in a relationship are going to stop being in a relationship. Usually people say it when they're in a romantic relationship, like when they're married or boyfriends and girlfriends. Sometimes people decide that they don't want to be married or romantic together anymore."

Could this be something about Jackson's parents? He's probably too young to remember when they broke up, but it's no secret that they used to be married.

"Are you and my dad in a romatic relationship?"

Overall Jackson's speech is wonderful, but he still misses a few letters here and there and I love listening to his version of a word. Someday, probably soon, he'll grow out of it but I soak it in for now. I've missed talking with him, even though we weren't close for very long. It also doesn't escape my notice that he makes sure to emphasize that Tom belongs is his father. If that's the root of the issue, that he feels I am trying to take Tom away, then I am happy to meet him there.

"Yes, your dad and I are in a ro-man-tic relationship. I like your dad very much."

"But why does Grammy Ellen say you're going to break up?" The question is so innocent, so naively posed but it makes everything cut a little deeper. Ellen is Tom's mom. Has she been telling Jackson that we're going to break up?

"That's an interesting question. Did Grammy Ellen tell you that?"

"Mommy, Daddy, and Grammy Ellen said it at family dinner. That's why you don't come to my games anymore."

Blow after blow just keeps coming. I had heard that conversations with children can derail fast, but I need to be careful with how I respond. If Jackson is talking to me about it then it must mean something.

"Sometimes people talk about complicated things, but your dad and I would make that decision together. That's what you do when you love someone, you make decisions together. Would you like me to come to your t-ball games, Jackson? You can decide who is there supporting you."

We're at the stop sign before we turn onto his dad's street, so I sneak a peek to the back seat. Jackson just shrugs and keeps playing with his toy.

"Well, if you ever decide that you want me there, I would love to be there for you, alright? You can decide if you want me there each time, and I won't be mad at any decision you make. I want you to be happy, Jackson."

"I have to go potty. Can I use my LeapFrog when I get home?"

Evidently, this conversation has run its course with him. Sighing, I turn my eyes back to the road and turn onto Tom's street. I would park in the driveway like usual, but Michelle's car is there. Odd, since it isn't her week and I've never seen her at Tom's place after pre-K.