Solstice Souls: Solstice Sons (Book 3)

Realizing the Error of His Ways

Wei Ying POV

There are so many thoughts racing through his mind that Wei Ying can't concentrate on just one. He feels like he's caught in the chaotic pull of a tornado, tossing and turning, trying to find solid footing. But through all of the noisy din, one voice emerges clear.

What am I to you?

Wei Ying doesn't think he can put into words what Lan Zhan means to him. There is no way he can describe the infinite number of emotions that fill his heart every time he looks into those golden eyes staring back at him with devotion. In fact, he's pretty sure his heart has invented a few new feelings in an attempt to understand what Lan Zhan means to him.

It's a new tactic for him but Wei Ying puts himself in Lan Zhan's place.

What if it was Lan Zhan who had left him and been captured, tortured, and almost killed in the arena?

What if Lan Zhan tried to leave as soon as they found out Xue Yang was headed to Yiling?

How would he have felt if Lan Zhan had even thought for a moment that it was better for him to lead a psychopath who controls resentful energy away so Wei Ying would be safe?

Wei Ying plays out the scenarios in his mind. Both times he knows he would have been angry with his husband. But more than that he would have felt useless. He would have felt pushed away, discarded as someone not worthy to fight by Lan Zhan's side. If it had been Lan Zhan running away from him that night, Wei Ying would have felt helpless.

He would have felt helpless to stop his husband from running away from him and into danger. He would have felt helpless in not being able to protect his soulmate. He would have felt the most helpless upon learning that the man he loved had been captured.

All of these emotions rise and crash inside his heart like stormy ocean waves. A choking sob wrenches its way out of his chest. He grabs onto Lan Zhan's robes as if his husband is slipping away from him. Because that's how it feels. The fears his jade voiced, the possibilities and what-if's that were as real as the past, and the uncertainty that it could all happen again broke not only Wei Ying's heart but his soul as well.

Soft, warm lips brush against his. They kiss him tenderly and quietly, a soft affirmation that Lan Zhan is still with him. Wei Ying slowly responds to the affection offered by his husband and begins to kiss Lan Zhan back. Their lips dance to a rhythm that is slow and steady until they break apart reluctantly.

Wei Ying places a hand against Lan Zhan's cheek and says, "I am stupid. I see that now."

The corner of Lan Zhan's lips lift ever so slightly.

"When I left you in Lotus Cove, I broke not only my promise to always stay by your side but to return to you safely. And it wasn't just my promises I broke. It was also your trust in me. I understand how much I hurt you that night. How much I hurt us. I know now that what I did was make you feel useless and helpless. I never want to make you feel like that again, my love."

Wei Ying places a long yet chaste kiss on his jade's lips. Even when he pulls away, his mouth lingers as if wanting more but knowing it's not what either of them needs right now. Only when Lan Zhan's arms make their way around his waist and settle comfortably in place does Wei Ying continue.

"You asked me what you are to me. I thought the answer was simple. You're my soulmate. But I don't think I truly understood what that word meant. Until now."

Wei Ying looks directly into Lan Zhan's eyes. He needs his husband to know that what he is about to say comes from his heart. He needs Lan Zhan to understand that every word that's about to leave his lips is the absolute truth.