Heart Full Of Needles

Chapter Two

Carnival sat on the couch, clutching her cup of tea. Her eye still hurt and she still had crusted blood on her face. Connor was rummaging through the kitchen, she guessed trying to prepare something to eat (not that she was complaining). He peeked his head into the room and smiled. She smiled weakly and then looked back town at her tea. Ripples spread across the smooth surface and she realized that tears were running down her cheeks. Connor walked in, about to ask what she wanted to eat, but realized she was crying.
"Are you okay?" He asked, kneeling in front of her.
"I-I'm fine. Can I wash up please?" She asked, quickly wiping the tears away and finding it hard to look at him.
He stared at her for a moment before standing and offering his hand. "Yeah. I'll show you where the bathroom is."
She took his hand, allowing him to guide her through the house. It was a big place for only one guy. She imagined that he probably had parties all the time. She stared at the floor until they stopped. The bathroom was quite nice and of a decent size. He stepped aside, allowing her to walk in.
"Nice." She said simply, figuring that being polite was probably the best thing to do right now.
"You can go ahead and take a shower. I'll bring you some clothes. And don't worry about me looking in on you. I'm not some weird immature pervert." He said, the look on her face suggesting that was exactly what she was thinking.
She just nodded and waited for him to walk away before shutting the door. She looked in the mirror. The bandage that was now covering the hole above her eye was starting to turn a faint pink which meant she would have to change the bandages after her shower. Blood soaked the tips of her hair, turning some of the colors odd shades. The entire right side of her face was covered in blackening blood. Tears rolled down her face, creating paths through the dried blood. She wiped them away, turning on the hot water and undressing. Maybe a shower would actually help her relax.
She climbed in, welcoming the warm water on her bruised skin. It stung slightly when it hit the soaked bandage above her eye, but she ignored it. She focused on the sound of the water hitting the bathtub. Standing in the steam, being warm, it was causing her to become really really tired, so she washed up, washing her hair twice to make sure she got all the blood out of it, before getting out and wrapping a towel around herself. Sitting on the toilet, she rummaged through her jeans before pulling out a small, flimsy piece of sharp metal. A razor. Placing it on the soft and scarred skin of her wrist, she began to slowly drag it backwards, making several incisions. Tears welled in her eyes. She hated this, hated doing it, but it was the only way she could deal with her pain.
A knock at the bathroom door made her jump. She stood, making sure the towel wouldn't fall off before telling Connor to come in. He opened the door to see her standing in his towel, hands behind her back. He set the clothes on the side of the sink before looking at her face. Without the blood there, she was pretty cute.
"These may be a bit big, but they will have to do until yours are washed. Once your dressed, if you would like-" He stopped, dripping blood catching his eyes.
"If I would like what?" She asked, unaware that her blood was dripping on the floor.
He walked over, making her step backwards. She was so used to her stepfather beating her that it was just a normal reaction for her. He reached behind her, grabbing her wrist, pulling it around so he could see. What he saw infuriated him. He gently pulled her to the sink, sticking her wrists under cold running water before reaching in the cabinet above them and pulling down some bandages.
"Why?" He asked simply.
"Why what?"
"Why did you do this?" He nodded towards her wrists, carefully washing them off.
She didn't answer. He sighed before motioning for her to sit down on the toilet. He carefully wrapped her wrists, then re-wrapped the bandage above her eye. Pain struck his heart. Although he knew nothing about this girl, he wanted nothing more than to protect her. He didn't know if she would allow him to or not, but that didn't matter to him. Even if she rejected the idea, he would still do it.
He sat back on his knees. "Get dressed. Food is ready, and then we can talk, okay?"
She could only nod. He got up and left. Tears dropped onto the fresh bandages. No one had cared for her so much, including her old friends. She brushed the tears away, picking up the clothes ad putting them on. The shirt was baggy and almost fell to her knees. The pajama pants were adjustable so at least those fit around the waist but she couldn't speak for the bottom of the pant legs that dragged under her feet when she walked.
Once she opened the bathroom door, the smell of freshly cooked food assaulted her nose. Following it, she found herself at he entrance to the kitchen. Connor was pulling what looked like chicken out of the oven. When he saw her, he smiled. She was certainly adorable in his over sized clothes. He pulled two plates from the cabinet and piled them with food. Motioning towards the living room, they went to the couch. She sat at the far end, staring at the steaming plate in front of her.
Baked chicken, green beans, mashed potatoes, brown gravy, and a sweet roll. What is this? A five course meal?! She thought, her mouth watering.
"Eat. I didn't spend forever and a day on this meal for it to sit there and get cold. I'm offering you food, now please eat." Connor said, taking a bite.
She slowly picked the plate up. How long had it been since she had a home cooked meal? At her house, when she was there, her mother never cooked for her. It was only her stepfather and her mother that ever ate something cooked, Carnival was always left to find things herself and she wasn't allowed the food in the kitchen. Now that she thought about it, she wasn't really allowed to anything in that house except for what she had bought herself, which was everything in her room. She shook her head and started eating.
With the first bite her eyes grew wide and she looked over at Connor. "This is really good!"
"What did you expect? Just because I'm apparently popular doesn't mean that I can't cook a good meal." He smiled. "Doesn't mean I don't have a heart either."
She looked at him for a moment. "What do you mean?"
"I want to know the truth Carnival East. Why do you cut yourself and why do you not like to be at home?"
"I don't ever recall telling you that I didn't like being at home."
"It's easy to tell. The odd hair color, the scars, the attitude, the clothes. It's all there. So tell me, what is it that makes your life a living hell?" Connor asked, turning on the couch to face her, his food in his lap.
She moved a green bean around her plate until it stuck in the mashed potatoes. "It's a long story."
"I've got nothing but time." He smiled, eating more of his food.
She sighed and started explaining. When she was younger, before the age of ten, her mother was actually a sweet woman. Her real father was still around and they were the perfect picture of a happy family. Home cooked meals every night, game nights on Saturdays, always going to family events. But, for some reason, her father wasn't happy shortly after Carnival turned ten and he left them, mentally and emotionally scarring her mother. It was after that that her stepfather came into the picture. He was a nice man at first, although Carnival couldn't shake the feeling that she had about him turning out to be a bad man, which in due time happened. He had managed to poison her mothers brain to make her think that it was all Carnival's fault that her previous husband left her. After that, her mother stopped caring and her stepfather started beating on her on a regular basis. When she had tried to tell her mother about it, she denied it and then Carnival got beat even worse.
She had started cutting around the age of thirteen, after she dyed her hair and started getting bullied in school. They had moved several times to keep the police and child services from knowing what was going on. Carnival had never had many friends, even before she moved to her current location. Always keeping to herself and trying not to stand out too much was the main rules that she followed since her father left. Over the years, her mother and stepfather gradually got worse. Her mother was now addicted to drugs and her stepfather was a good for nothing drunk who brought the drugs home for her mother. She had always thought about running away, but she had held on to the hope that her mother would return to the way she was.
"That's about it really." Carnival finished.
Connor looked at her, pain clear in his eyes. "Can I say something, and I hope that you will grant me this honor."
Carnival looked at him with an expression that said she was both confused and curious. "Sure?"
"Please allow me to protect you, even from the smallest of things. I can't explain what it is about you that makes me feel like I need to, but please, I want to keep you safe. Keep you from all of the bullshit in your life."
Carnival looked at him, wide eyed, not knowing how to answer.