Book Three - Discovery

Chapter One

Niall yawned as he walked down the hotel hallway with Paul. He was tired because he still wasn't sleeping well.

It had only been three weeks since he had decided to stay in the band and so many things had changed since then. Last week was their last group session. Michelle and Carrie had both agreed they really didn't need it anymore.

Louis and Zayn had their solo sessions taken down to once a month. Zayn was ready for his to be dropped altogether but Michelle wasn't ready to let him go. She was concerned with maintaining his anger management when someone would tell him what to do. As for Louis, he wasn't ready to stop, he liked having someone to help him sort out his problems that's was the real reason he was still meeting with her once a month.

Both couples therapy sessions were stopped also. Zayn and Liam were doing amazing at being just friends and Louis was joining Harry's solo sessions as needed so keeping theirs didn't make sense.

Liam, Harry and himself were the only ones in therapy on a weekly basis. Harry had been told he'd be in therapy for a long time. They said it was common after a suicide attempt. Liam, well, Niall wasn't really sure why Liam still needed it, it wasn't really his business.

As for himself, he still felt broken. Not only was he still on medication but he still felt unsafe when left alone. He hadn't even allowed anyone to leave him totally alone, someone was always close by, within earshot really.

"I'll wait out here." Paul told Niall as they reached the private room.

"Thanks." Niall nodded and walked in. Carrie was there and waiting already.

"Good morning, Niall." She smiled.

He smiled back and sat down.

"How are you?" She asked.

He knew the question was much deeper than it sounded. "I don't know. Tired," he paused. "Tired of not feeling normal. I can't sleep well, I can't be alone, I..." He took a deep breath, "I just want to be okay."

Carrie smiled again, Niall was finally comfortable opening up. "Do you ever feel normal or almost normal?"

Niall nodded, "When I'm with Liam."

Carrie nodded, "I agree. The way you've spoken about him lately, I think he's your comfort thing. Much like a small child has a security blanket."

Niall thought about what she said then replied, "I suppose you're right. He is kind of like a security blanket. I don't think there is something wrong with it though."

Carrie quickly spoke, "No, Niall, I don't think it's wrong. It's completely understandable. For what you've been through, for your story, it makes sense. I do however think you need to start distancing yourself. You can't live like this."

They kept on talking about Niall's attachment and how while it was normal, it wasn't healthy.

Niall mostly just sat listening to her, understanding her point, knowing she was probably right but not caring because he wasn't ready to distance himself from Liam. He needed Liam.

When therapy ended Carrie simply asked Niall to think about everything she had said. He agreed.

"Ready to go eat?" Paul asked as he came out of session.

"Yes, I'm starving." Niall replied walking back.

"I've already asked Liam to wake up everyone. Get ready and we'll go soon." Paul said.

Niall nodded, unlocked his room and went inside to prepare to leave.

As he left his room a bit later he saw Louis and Harry coming out of their room.