"la oscuridad del pasado"

Chapter #11

Reminder: You little girls and women out there your voices will not be silenced. You will find all the end of the rainbow. "The night is like cloak of shadows." You, secretly a telepath, lose a loved one. Describe what it feels like to no longer hear their thoughts. You were never a drug to me. I didn't need you to survive and you didn't need me. We'd both been living for so long that needing something has always seemed like a weakness, even if that need was another person.I wish I'd let myself need you. Then I'd have a reason to stop, to lie down and never get up (like you), to stay still (like you) until they come to take me away (like you). But needs and wants are two separate things and I can survive wanting. It's hard though, and unfair and stupid and a hundred other ridiculous things. Your mind wasn't sweet or savory or any of the flavors our love was. Your mind was something else entirely, like a hidden note in a song that gives it body, gives it dimension, gives it passion. And, without you, the world sounds like the color beige. It sounds like cardboard. It sounds...lifeless. Nobody loves me like you did. Nobody thinks my name with the smell of lavender and the TV on low volume like you did. Nobody thinks about my apartment as home like you did. The associations are gone. When you thought dinner you thought of our dining room table. When thought pain you thought of my arms around you. When you thought happy I was there with you. When you (we) thought love you thought of me (and I of you). Now, after years of knowing too much and hearing too much, I am...disconnected. I don't need you, I know I don't, but these withdrawal symptoms are hell on my soul, on my mind, on my heart. So, lovely, I miss you. I miss you (and that's all I can let myself do). Me refugio en Tumblr y Spotify cuando me derrota el mundo, así me curo las heridas en silencio. Yo si me creí todo lo que prometimos. No quería que te fueras, porque sabía que te llevarías una gran parte de mí. Un archangel, mi agonia ni de noche, ni de dia. Un te querio puede a ser mi vida entero.