dark-green sneakers

days

64 days.

After having lost in the hospital for more than a month, the ninth of June Han went home. The parents again had once to pick up the son, so he himself, his legs, went to the place where no one expects him.

From the hospital to the house was twenty walking. Jisung slowly went under the rain. And he was strong today. Han loved this weather, loved to walk. Music in headphones, wet things, sad thoughts, - today they are inseparable.

On the street was quiet. People sweated in their homes, afraid of rain as fire. Only a lone teenager with recently healing wounds went to place with the name "House". Jisung often represented how once he becomes his father. How he will love his children, take care of them. After all, no one is not careful about him, and recalled it rarely. He represented what his good afternoon he would have. The floor did not matter. Even if he had not found his love, he took a child from the orphanage and loved him like his own. The school has one boy, he is eleven years old, and he often treated Jisung, because Han is always sad. Jisung liked it very much, he always smiled when he ran into the boy and said: "Jisung, you are sad today! Here, hold the bun, she will definitely raise you. My mother always says that when I'm sad! ". To be honest, Han smiled only at these moments.

The rain was getting stronger and stronger, but I didn't want to go home at all. Then, he turned to the river. There he came to the bridge, but he was unusual because he called him "Summer Bridge." One old legend walked that once the children jumped from this bridge to the river, and one child fell unsuccessfully and died. In the water, it turned out to be an armaturin, which rented from the bridge. From the time to swim there were forbidden, but some people did not stop. Therefore, when the victims became more than ten, the place under the bridge was cleared, and it was repaired. But people still died: who choked, who was convulsed. And they stop there completely, fearful for their lives. And Jisung loved him. It was quietly and calmly - the perfect place. Han fucked his legs to himself and hugging her knees, began to look at the water, which was risen from the droplets of the rain. Fish jumped out of the river, sparkling bright scales. He enjoyed calmness and solitude, closing his eyes, again I was crying. From pain, that squeezed the chest. She prevented him even to block the air. And the rain were not stopping. Tears mixed with him. The eyes were sick and tired. Jisung was sitting at about an hour, but later the wind was added to the rain - now it was not even possible to hear music in headphones. Nothing remained, besides how to go home.

Here again emptiness and darkness. Stood dead silence. The house was empty. Throwing things into the room, Jisung went to sleep. And again these nightmarish dreams with this man. Han woke up in three hours. Taking the phone, he looked at the screen. The clock showed eight evenings. He decided to visit the Mwung De.

Walking along the pathway deep into the forest, he thought that, in principle, not all bad. Soon holidays, which means that it will be possible to close in the room and not to go out from there until the fifteenth of August. Hearing a strange buzz from abandoned houses, Jisung stopped. It was someone's voice. He thought it was homeless people, therefore, without giving great importance, went further. And made a mistake again.

Rising to the roof and sowing next to the Mwung De, he looked at the sky, on the clouds floating in the endless blue sea, on occasionally flying birds and butterflies. From the back he was heard a knock boot, and later a voice.

- See who we have discharged here from the hospital!

Jisung did not even move, the fear immediately mastered them. He immediately understood who she belonged to that voice and was afraid to say anything. He was sitting like a faceless doll, waiting for the worst event of events.

- And what are you, rooster, could not reach the house? - sitting near, began Minho. - So stayed there to lie, I was looking for everything. Tell me thanks to Jeongin, he "accidentally" found you, but it would be so that I would die there.

- I had to just leave me there so that no one would find, I would have it easier. Why did he tell where I?

- Are you very patient? Or is it tired of living?

- Yes.

- What?

- Tired. Minho, and you would like to live like me? Would you like to come to school where you do not like anyone? Would you like to come to an empty house, because parents are forever on their farm, and they are not up to you? Would you like to be lonely? No one loves me, I have no friends. Would you like to live like me? - Minho was silent. - I doubt. Therefore, if next time you beat me - bates so that I do not wake up.

Minho lit a cigarette and putting a packet of Red Malboro, silent. He did not look at Jisung, his gaze was reserved in the sun, which was going to go beyond the horizon. Han took a cigarette from the pack of Lee and also lit.

- Is everything so bad? - ten minutes later, Minho asked silence.

- Yes.

- I'm not a psychologist, I don't even know what to say, but you, type, hold on, Honey. We will not touch you more. We, though a shot down, but not scumbags.

- Thank you, Minho. You are the only one who calls me so, even mom calls me just Han. In fact, it is nice, thanks.

Minho got up.

- I hold your promises and I will tell your guys to say you not touched, and you are treated. Popping tablets, go for the reception. Come up with anything.

Han waved his head as a sign of consent and it seems even a little smiled. Lee gone, leaving Jisung. The grass was wet from a recent heavy rain. In the air, the smell of Minho cigarette was still. Han lit the time. Sitting on a cold roof, he looked into the distance, trying to remember all the happy moments that he had. But there were so insignificantly enough of them that it was possible to recalculate on the fingers.

- You know, Mwung De, for the month that I lay in the hospital, I just made sure that no one needs. Mom visited me three times, and his father - was never. Nobody came from school. My only interlocutor was a nurse who knows that only the body remains from me - the soul is long dead. Therefore, I was even worse. At night I smoked, but even the cigarettes did not help me forget. Then I took a needle from the syringe and began to make chaotic lines on my feet. And this, by the way, helped. I got a little easier, but when I could not put yourself enough damage, I stuck in the foot syringe. I became so painful that I sharply pulled out and started cry. I guess I got somewhere, because then I cut off, or from the tears, or from pain, - I do not know. But after that I was good. I slept all night and never even woke up. It was not bad. True, you have the consequences, and look on my feet scary. They are all in thin red lines, and in some places there are holes that I did and pick. I know that it is impossible to do so, but I feel so easier. What is all this if there is no soul in my body? I heard from the elderly in the dining room, that a person who is born without a soul suffers all his life. He has no positive emotion, he is like a nasty duckling among the white geese. But only he will not grow and will not become a white swan, and it will be a muck climb. They also said that such people are empty that they are punished for committed in the past life. What did I do that I suffer so much? I do not know...

Continuing to look into the distance, Han thought everything: what did he commit such an unforgivable thing that was born without soul? Mwung De, quietly sheltered by leaves, tried to whisper the answer, but Jisung, heavily dreamed of his thoughts, did not hear him.

The sun began to go beyond the horizon, again taking everything warm, not leaving a bit of light. Han, saying goodbye to Mwung De, went to the cold bed. There, where I will fall again, hoping not to wake up.