Ako si Astelle Villafuerte, I have 3 siblings to my dad and 2 siblings from my mom. Overall anim kaming magkakapatid. I'm the middle child. Also, the glass child.
"Astelle habang buhay ka nalang ba magkukulong sa kwart mo?" Si mommy, It never changed and they never asked about me. Kaya minsan naiisip ko what if I'm actually adopted? What if..
I locked up my room kasi I don't want them to hear me crying. The first ever person who taught me love, whom a thought loved me too.. Left. They leave me just like that.
It's just so painful na you built a man for someone else. Being the one who stayed and suffered at his lowest but someone else gets the better of him.
You gave him your all but he didn't do the same for you.
"Do I deserve this?" I asked myself.
"One more call Astelle and I'll drag you out of there" See. No one really cares about me. Do they really have to show how much they hate me?
"Yes mommy bababa na po.." I had to wipe off my eyes baka kasi sabihin nanaman na I'm over being dramatic.
Mom, I just want to atleast feel loved for once. Make me feel na belong talaga ako sa family na 'to. It's something every child would want to feel a love and support, which is I never had. I felt so unhappy.
"Gising na pala yung Señorita" my grandma said. She has always treated me like this. I mean, I was never her favorite. And She just don't like me.
"Panay ka cellphone mag aral ngang mabuti! Kaya ka palagi late gumising e" It's not like that. It wasn't because of the phone. Why do you have to judge me like that? Why is it always me? Why do you hate me that much?
"Grabe naman po kayo, Grabe niyo naman po akong pagsalitaan parang hindi ka po nakakasakit" I was in rage. Kasi sobra na. Mali na kung mali ang sumagot sa matanda. Pero I think respect is only for those who deserve it regardless of their age.
"Kapal ng mukha mo sumagot! Hindi ka gumaya sa mga pinsan mo mabuti pa sila hindi nila ko sinasagot sagot" I was heart broken. Pag dating sa comparison talo ako. I was never anyone's favorite. Ano nga bang laban ko ro'n. Kakainin lang ako ng lungkot nito. So I decided not to finish the food and just left.
It never felt so heartbreaking to get humiliated by your own family. I know they were never proud of me. What I do is always not enough.
Ang sakit niyo. Bakit pa kasi ako nabuhay? Bakit sakin pa kailangan mangyari to. Wala na nga akong supportive and loving family, tapos ngayon pati yung only source of happiness ko iniwan na rin ako. Pano na 'ko? Pano ko ba ulit bubuhayin 'yung sarili ko?
God I want to rest na po. Please let me. Kuhain mo na 'ko Lord. I want to be happy with you.
...
I have to act tough. C'mon Astelle don't show them you're weak.
Smile.
"uy teh sabay tayo?" si Rajel pala 'to e. Classroom bestie ko sa Basic Calculus and Physics Class.
"sure anong room nga ulit tayo?" Tanong ko nakalimutan ko na din kasi panay ba naman problema sa bahay e. Naka stress!
"M311 luh siya" nasanay kasi 'tong si Irish na ako yung pumapasok palagi and nag r-remind sa kanya.
"Sa Unahan tayo, may nakaupo na sa pwesto natin e" banggit ko. sino ba tong mga pangit na 'to? Joke.
Sino naman 'to? new classmate. Wow ba't ngayon lang mga nagsipasok. Kaya pala less than 20 lang kami last week.
And andyan na nga si sir.
>>>>lecturing
"0 odd or even?"
"Even!" Oops ako muna ang bida eme HAHAHA
"naks teh"
"-3 + 2"
"1?" di ako sure huhuness
"negative 1" ah okay sign difference bigger number nga pala si 3
"bobo haha" nadulas ang bibig ko. Luh makatingin naman tong si Kuya na katabi ni Rajel. oo na bobo na ko
"okay lang yan teh ikaw lang naman nakarinig" ako lang ba talaga? HAHAHA
"so here's how to answer it.. na gets niyo ba?"
"opo sir" sagot ni kuya na katabi ni Rajel.
"Kuya pano mo po nakuha 'yun?" tanong ko bakit ba? mukha naman siyang mabait. Try niya di sumagot jk pogi naman nito harot amp
"Ah ganito madali lang naman 'yan transpose then add"
"ah okay, thanks" Sige kuya kahit hindi ko talaga naintindihan. Um oo nalang ako, sanaol matalino.
Ay wait, gets ko na pala haha
"teh pano raw di ko naintindihan?"tanong ni Rajel. Actually tama si Kuya madali siya kung naintindihan mo pero kung hindi edi balakadyan.
"ewan" teh chill di ako sure kung naintindihan ko na ba talaga or mema ko lang to.
"sanaol math wiz" sabay turo ni Rajel kay kuya na nasa tabi niya. Sanaol nga.
-Time skip-
AFTER CLASS
Pagkatapos ng time ni sir mahaba pa vaccant ko. 4pm pa class ko. 2:38pm palang. gagala ba ako? or papasok?
May class pa ba kaya si Nicole?
*message Nicole Mosuela
Me: Nicole may class ka, if meron may prof kayo? if wala uy lam mo na
Nicole: Meron cha, pero wala kaming prof
Me: Pa sit in, dyan sila Xeezy?
Nicole: Yes here kami M319
sakto! last class ko today M319 din. Yey!
Bili muna siguro ko foods? or sa room na muna. Room muna siguro since nasa school pa naman ako.
"Ate!"
"Uy Ate Pasok"
"Astelle!"
Sina Xeezy, Yana, JP, Nhellie, Nicole, Charles, David, Nicole bumati. Namiss ko 'tong mga 'to e. Same course different yr level. First year freshies sila however me, irregular came from other school e taking 1st yr subjects and 2nd yr subjects at the same time.
Atleast we're all Civil. One thing in common.
"kumain ka na ate?" Tanong ni Xeezy. I'm 4yrs older sa kanya kaya ate ang tawag niya sakin. She's 18 and I'm already 22 years old.
"Hindi pa, bibili ba kayo?" i asked, aside from meeting themselves. I also missed eating with them
"opo, sama ka?" sagot ni Yana. Ate din tawag niya kasi she's only 19.
"Tara" I answered.
As we were all walking on our way here in CMart something caught my eye. Si ano pala si Kuya kaninang class ko, here pala siya. Friends pala sila ni Peñas(surname).
But nevermind, I have friends din naman.
We bought sisig with rice and I also bought Iced coffee. It's actually a buy one take one coffee so I shared it's price and value with Yana, mahilig din kasi siya.
"Sa classroom nalang tayo mainit dito tsaka walang upuan" JP suggested. Pwede naman siguro don. So why not and we left CMart.
Gosh ang init.
Dami namin napag usapan. Kakamiss tong group na 'to. Sana Classmate ko na kayo next sem.
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