My Failed Experiments with Love

To the one who loved me the most - 1

Have you ever left someone for loving you too much? Sounds crazy? Well, I have.
One of my fondest memories of him is of when we first met. It was the first day of class 11. Nervous laughters, awkward hellos were being passed around as the teacher walked in. I was in the first bench right in front of the entrance of our class. The introductions began and so did the silent judgement. As I sat nervous and worried about my first impression to my to-be classmate for the next two years, the door banged open.
And he walked in. Sweaty and huffing."Sorry, my cab drove me to a Liquor shop by accident. And it wasn't even open." he explained in a loud voice, as the class burst into laughter. And I smiled my first genuine smile of the day.
He was a back bencher while I was always on the front row seats. Slowly as days went on, I started moving back and one day randomly, we were sitting one behind the other. I sat drawing that entire botany class, hiding behind his back. At one point, he must have turned back for a glance. For just before he left, he turned to me, smiled and said, "I would have rather watched you draw than listen to whatever Sir just ranted on about."
What ensued was an amazing friendship. Early morning classes filled with gossips and late evenings bursting in laughter with his jokes. I can't pinpoint when I fell for him. Whether it was when he understood my silences better than anyone else. Or when he couldn't take his eyes off me when I wore traditionals for the first time in class. You see, he wasn't my type at all. I liked smart guys, he barely passed our tests. I got attracted with dominating personality, while he loved imitating one. He was the complete opposite of everything I had ever wanted, but the smile he could etch on my face was incomparable to anyone else. I remember realizing my love for him, sitting on the terrace, with winds blowing the hair out of my face. It felt glorious. Like feeling lost for long finally reached home. Like finally waking up from a long long dream.But as fate would have it, as I was riding the high of my newly blossomed love,my father got his transfer letter. My dad has always had a transferable job, so I was used to picking up my life in a truck, only to move again. Losing friends, crushes, loves and memories. But not this time. I couldn't lose him too. As I moved to a different state, thousands of kms away from him.He found out eventually about me leaving, through from my bestfriend, cause she knew, I wont have the courage to tell him. He was heartbroken as all my other friends. He threw me a farewell that lasted two days. And finally after all the goodbyes and well wishes, as I sat in my cab to go home, did I realize. That it was probably the last time I will ever see him again. My tears that I had held back all day, finally fell as dread crept into my heart. What if his promises to stay in touch fad with time as it always had in the past? What if he forgets me too? What if I am just reduced to a footnote in his story? With these question hammering in my head, I picked up my phone and confessed. Confessed on how I had always liked him a little bit more. How he was the first person that came to my mind when I heard about leaving this town. How now this fancy town had reduced to just him. It wasn't confession with any hope. It was a confession of kind that you confess in church. The kind where you just want to be heard without any judgement or fear. The kind that is the purest amongst all others.

His reply came within 5 mins, which I swear felt way longer. 

He had sent only a picture, (yes, I confessed through text).

The picture was dated to the day he found about me leaving. He had made a list of all the things he ever wanted to tell me, and right at the top were the words:

 "I fell for you so goddamn hard".