My name is Elaine...

Chapter 1

 I live three houses away from the love of my life. She doesn't even no I exist it seems like. She is black or brown however those african americas define themselves. You probably thought that I was black since I described her as one. Well I'm not and that's the problem. How is a white kid like me gonna compete with all the other black cocks she could have. Oh, I'm sixteen and I'm a virgin....sadly. I don't even know why I am coming off so strong. You probably think that I am some weird kid that watches you get dressed in your bedroom from my window.

Well I'm not, I'm more like that kid that has to clear my history everyday after watching pornhub. I'm the white kid that has never even wanted to be white. In fact I feel like the beautifulest kids are mixed ones. They have best of both worlds. The gated community and hood loves them. But, imagine a pale, 6'6, freckle face , redhead white boy in the hood. That's right you couldn't, but that's the best part I don't have to go to the hood to find my black, fat ass queen. Her name is Elaine Banks. She is dark-skinned, thick (lord), ass like Nicki Minaj, but real. Weave and edges be on fleek. Smile bright as fuck. God... her parents did a damn good job.

1. I'm a republican; 2. She has two big brothers; 3. She doesn't date white boys.

After reading those three keys, I'm pretty sure you understand that I have no chance. Yes, I'm depressed that my chances with her are rare. But, there is still hope and that's all I have to count on. See let me tell you a little more information on me. My mother is the typical young minded teen, that mommy and daddy always bought everything she wanted. See her parents are dirty rich, father owns oil and mother well .. Mmmm.. mother doesn't do shit, but look pretty. And, when my mother got pregnant with me they didn't want the family name to be destroyed, so that adopted me and raise me as their own. So yes, my mother is my sister. Typical white shit. When you think about it I could write about that and probably win an award or some shit.

4. I'm not holy enough.

Okay so yes, I said it. I'm not holy enough. I mean I assume there is a God, but I just don't think he mean't for us to catch the holy ghost. I mean I know there is a holy spirit, but when the fuck did we start yelling, jumping, and crying. Plus from how worldstar hiphop describes black churches, they last to damn long for me. I have shit to do with my life. I'm a Paige..... I'm Brian Paige at that. Shit if it ain't money, fuck it! And, that's exactly what I am trying to do to Elaine. Yeah, I want to learn her goals and aspiration in life. First step is to get to the booty and if I have to hear about how hear parents got out the hood, then I'm cool. Shit "all I need to know is how that pussy taste like, so one time is fine with me"- (Drake).