Levels of Stress

Level One

stress (/stres/) noun
A state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or very demanding circumstances.
"He's obviously under a lot of stress."

Definitions only say so much. There are no words to perfectly describe stress. It's an imperfect word that society fears to become. Stressed.

Everyone has been stressed before in some way, shape, or form. Each and every person walking down the street has a standard to live by and a higher power over their heads.

Stress isn't limited to certain things and that's what makes it more dangerous. It starts as a pain in your chest one day and grows larger, the bigger your to-do list gets. Common things that people tend to stress about are: homework, work, friends, looks, time, etc.

There's different ways to handle stress and everyone has their own methods. Some people sleep stress away, others write out their feelings, some even drown it out with music. Whatever makes us humans feel less busy.

Personally, for me, none have worked how they're supposed to. I'll feel good for a while after each tactic I try, but it never stays. I'm constantly down in the dumps and my head is constantly shouting over the voice of my own thoughts.

I can't tell my parents. I've tried before, but they'll send me off with a "oh you're just having a bad day". They don't want to admit that their kid actually has a problem.

I've tried talking to friends, but telling them usually makes them run away. They have their own problems, and once I open up to them about mine, I'll be seen differently. I'd rather keep to myself.

I even drove myself to a therapist one day to see if maybe they could help cure me. I don't think therapists work correctly if you can't tell them the truth. They've given me different pills to try. None have worked so far.

And so I'm stuck, bottling up all of my feelings and hiding them from the world. Every dark thought has burned bullet holes into my heart. It's a constant reminder of the person I am.

I've created a system that will help me recognize how stressed I am. Through numbered levels (1-10), I can categorize how I feel and mark them down every day. Hopefully, the numbers will decrease, but not so far.

I'd like to say that I started at level one, and I'll pretend for now. Level one is the lowest you can go and I've never written a one down yet. It signifies little to no stress for the day.

This is the kind of day when you hang out with friends and actually accomplish something worth showing off. These are the days where you feel good about yourself.

I've had days close to level one before. I have a few friends whom I like to share memories with. They don't share the same feeling with me, but they have a brief understanding of how I am and continue to stay in touch.

My girl friends tend to understand me a little better. Girls have it pretty rough in life, especially with my age group. They handle it well. If I had to rank them with my system, I'd say their worst day is around a level four. Jennifer, Ally, Mona, Danielle (Danny), and Belle have been my best friends for an awful long time.

Jennifer is a short, sweet girl that is beyond the word innocent. She has a way of writing that none of us can compete with. I have a feeling that's how she handles her stress. After breaking up with her no-good boyfriend, she didn't even seem fazed. With a pen in her hands, she scribbled out anything from lyrics to novels.

Ally is a die-hard band lover. She's a beautiful girl with scene, blonde hair and thick eyeliner. There's always a earbud plugged in to keep her going. She dreams about playing the bass someday, and I think she will.

Mona has a bubbly personality on the right day. I look up to her like the big sister I never had. She is a big help in keeping my pieces together and helping me look at the brighter things in life.

Danny and I enjoy joking around. She keeps the mood up and alive. I can be me around her and she won't be leaving any time soon.

Belle and I have been friends ever since we were in nappies. We have been inseparable. We've had our ups and downs, but she always comes back. She hasn't showed much interest in me until recently. I love it. I think I love her.

Feelings aside for my guy friends. They'd much rather hear about football than my soft side. Dallas, Jacob, Ricky, and I have been together since the first grade. You could say we're best friends, but I can't talk to them like I can with my girl friends.

My goal? Get to Level One. That way. I don't need to be a different person in front of any of my friends.

Golden Level One: Not stressed.