𝐑𝐄𝐃𝐀𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐘

𝐑𝐄𝐃𝐀𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐘 - 𝟎𝟏𝟔

I nodded and brought the spoon to my mouth. There were no words to describe the embarrassment I felt, this was the last way I wanted Dahlia to see me. It was highly inappropriate. I always put on my best for her. Why? Because I have a constant need to impress any and everybody who even looks my way.

While watching TV I finished my soup and got up to wash my bowl before Dahlia took it out of my hands. "I got it, you stay right there." Then she was off to the kitchen.

I feel terrible. She didn't need to see that side of me, the whole sobbing into her arms thing was completely unnecessary... but why did it feel right? Does that make sense? My body was flooded with plenty of emotions, yes, but out of them all comfort was prominent. The urge to trust, feel, and embrace her is tempting. But is it worth it? Is it worth the years I spent recomposing my life, my mind, is it worth the feeling of not feeling enough, is it worth the scars embedded inside me?

"Raeni? Hey, are you okay?" A hand rubbed up and down my back and I took a deep breath. I didn't even know she sat back down.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I smiled, grabbing a blanket and propping my legs up onto the couch, I could tell we were gonna be here for a while. Might as well make myself comfortable.

We sat in silence and looked at each other for a few minutes before Dahlia broke the silence.
"Before we start, I just want to make sure you're completely comfortable with talking about it because we don't have to. I'm just trying to make sure-"

"I'm comfortable," I cut her off. I didn't mean to but if she kept talking, I was sure I was never gonna talk about it. "Sorry."

She nodded her head for me to continue. I took a deep breath and adjusted myself.

"Okay so.."

FLASHBACK (TW: Mentions of drinking and smoking) :

"Rae hurry up, we're gonna be late!" Flynn shouted from the living room.

"Jesus! One second!" I yelled back, putting on my lip gloss. Me and Flynn were getting ready to go out with a few friends of ours. Well hers, they're not exactly fans of me. It doesn't make a difference though, I'm not gonna waste my time on people who couldn't care less about me. Flynn just pressured me into going with them.

I grabbed my purse and walked out of my room to see her texting someone before looking up at me. "Finally! They're waiting outside, come on!" She said, grabbing my arms and dragging me out of the apartment.

We approached a black truck which had music that you could hear from a mile away. Flynn got in, and I followed after. I stared down at my phone as they all engaged in conversation, not bothering to include me. The ride to the place seemed like hours, everything was starting to get overwhelming but I ignored the feeling. I didn't want to ruin the mood.

We arrived and stood in line to be let in. It didn't take long before we entered and were immediately greeted by the music playing, the humid air and the aromas of perfume and cologne.