Random things I write (SCP stuff)

Partners In Paperwork 

(Heyy. So this is just a silly thing I wrote for a friend. There was this meme saying "if you could be an assistant to any SCP researcher who would it be?" And she said Iceberg. So, I just did this for jokes. Hope you like to ^^)

Iceberg sat at his desk in the corner of the office that belonged to the venerable that was his boss. He was working on plenty of paperwork that some random guy shoveled on his desk earlier that day. Normally, he would just give it to Gears to find the owner and give it back, but he had already gone through the paperwork that was actually his job and decided to do it and demand some money. His boss was gone for some reason.

He only looked up when he heard the door. In walked some me carrying a desk. He watched in horror as the men hauled it over to the other back corner of the office. A few of the men had to let go to push some filing cabinets further on the wall towards the front of the office.

They adjusted it as Iceberg stared, apoplectic with rage. Gears was replacing him, wasn't he!? That stoic bastard was replacing the greatest research assistant who had ever graced the foundation with his presence! Iceberg scoffed and quickly went back to doing his paperwork, although only half paying attention to the words as he had to deal with his own thoughts of vexation and the constant sound of the men trying to fit the desk into the corner only 7 feet away from him.

The desk looked like his, but empty. Unlike his paperwork-filled desk. He ground his teeth. The person would probably only be there for a day or two before Gears realized how much more amazing Iceberg was. He practically kept this building running with how much work he did!

The men finished up and then made their way out of the room rather quickly. Not soon after, Gears shuffled into the room, a shorter woman walking behind him, carrying a bag. Iceberg looked up only briefly, then looked back down at the work and started scribbling, trying to appear as though he didn't care for the presence of the woman. Of course, it had to be a fucking female. They replaced him with a female.

Iceberg listened to the footsteps as his boss and the young woman walked over to the other desk. He could practically picture Gears reference the desk with his hand as the emotionless man spoke.

"This is your desk. You may work here," The elderly man explained, causing Iceberg to look up. Sure enough, he caught the brief movement of Gears crossing his arm back behind his back after unnecessarily referencing the empty desk. The woman nodded. Iceberg noticed she had a mostly apathetic face, similar to the man he had been working with for nine years. His brain instantly went off.

'Is he replacing me with her because she's like him?' 'Am I going to be forced back into the military?' 'Why the hell would he want a female helping him?' 'Is she related to him?' 'Her lab coat looks clean, is she new?' 'How old is she?'

He couldn't stop thinking, trying to figure out the situation. The familiar monotone voice he had known for almost a decade brought him back to reality.

"This is my other assistant, Dr. Iceberg. If I am not available, you may refer to him for your inquiries," Gears explained to the younger woman, then looked at Iceberg a pulled his hand out from behind his back to reference the woman standing adjacent to him, "Dr. Iceberg, this is Dr. Bunny. She is here to assist you with the tasks I assign you."

The woman Gears called Dr. Bunny looked at Iceberg and her face contorted to a confused look before she pursed her lips and waved shyly at him, her arm not really moving out of a fully bent position and her hand remaining near her chest. Gears' hand returned to its common position behind his back. Iceberg looked at the woman, his face a deep scowl. So, they thought he needed help? He would show them.

The younger man of the two in the room turned back to his work, not gracing the female with the blessing that was a greeting from him. He could hear the fabric of her lab coat, rubbing against itself as she crossed her arms. He then heard Gears retreating back to his own desk in the center of the room, and the new woman moving to hers, opening her bag and setting out her belongings. He quickly immersed himself in the paperwork, trying to ignore his newfound colleague.

A few hours passed and the alarm on his phone sounded. Iceberg quickly removed his brain from the never-ending sheets of Times New Roman, pulling out his phone and shutting off the alarm before putting it in his pocket. He looked up at one of the many clocks on the shelves and saw it was the end of his work day.

He looked over and saw the new desk, still mostly empty, but now containing a few decorations, was void of Dr. Bunny. Iceberg grinned. She left a bit beforehand. He still got some time alone, aside from Gears of course.

He re-organized a few of the papers before turning off the heat pad that he kept in his lap during the long hours at his desk and placed it in the chair after he stood up. He then unplugged the device and wrapped up the cord, placing it on the pad before turning for the door.

Before he left, he gave a respectful nod to Gears who nodded in response before returning to his own paperwork. Iceberg knew better than to try and start a conversation with the man.

Iceberg then started the long walk back to his residential chamber. He used to live in a nearby apartment, but his body temperature classified him as an anomaly staff member, forcing him to have to resort to living on-site. He didn't like America anymore anyway. They abandoned him in that damn military base to freeze to death. However, tonight was not the night to think about that.

As he trudged his way along the halls of the mostly vacant hallways, he heard a familiar sound of a match being lit while passing one of the cafeterias. He looked in and saw the source of the sound. Dr. Bunny was standing, match in hand, on one of the long tables above a pile of old magazines. She had a terrifyingly mischievous grin on her face.

Iceberg saw the fire, and the little voice in his brain reacted immediately. He quickly began speed walking to the woman. Dr. Bunny looked at him, a face of worry.

"I- uh-" She stammered, quickly, trying to hide the match behind her back. Unfortunately, fabric is also flammable. Her lab coat caught fire in a matter of seconds, and she quickly panicked, throwing it off of her as she flung it off the table and began rolling around on the hard floor.

Iceberg was too entranced by the sight of the orange and yellow light to do anything as the burning lab coat landed in the pile of magazines. It caught flames immediately, exploding in a flaming circus of raging red, orange, yellow, and even a little blue. It was like a wall of heat, hitting both assistants.

Before Iceberg could even snap out of his pyromaniac trance, he felt a hand grab him by the scarf. He heard a feminine laugh as he was pulled out of the room by the neck, causing him to choke slightly before getting his bearings. He turned around and quickly ran after the woman, whose hair was slightly burned off.

The pair ran through the hallways as the sprinkler systems activated, trying desperately to stop the fire quickly growing throughout the facility, both looking behind them often to sneak a glimpse of the fire. Eventually, they got to a room with a sealed door. Iceberg quickly went to the scanner, scanning his card and opening the heavy door. Bunny was the first one in and Iceberg barely made it as the systems fried and the door slammed shut.

He picked himself off the ground and dusted himself off. The room would've been mostly silent, had it not been for the blaring fire alarm. The two looked at each other and grinned. That was fucking awesome.

The next morning, after a lot of repair work had been done, Iceberg strolled into his boss's mostly unscathed office. Gears, as a senior researcher, had a shutdown mechanism in his office, allowing the door to be sealed in an emergency. Gears, in the meantime oblivious to what his two assistants had done the night prior, nodded as Iceberg entered the room.

Iceberg took his seat and looked over at Bunny, who was looking back at him with that mischievous grin. Her desk was now covered in paperwork, similar to his. He smirked back at her. Maybe not all females were man-using bitches.

After all, they were now partners in -crime- paperwork.

(Word count: 1503)