fairy tails lost member

the lost becomes the fighter.

faelynn pov:

we all wait for first master to play the next video. 

a sob gets caught in my throat when i watched him die again. i stand up quickly and go to leave when someone grabs my arm stopping me.

"i-i-i cant watch this. not again. excuse me." i sob, and yank my arm out of their grip and run out of the room until i hear it end. once im out in a hallway i lean against the wall, and slowly sink down until im sitting on the ground. i continue to sob softly. only looking up when i hear someone exit the room, and sit across from me.

"you have seen more than someone your age should ever have to see. and im sorry that it was you." gramps speaks to me.

"your right, but i could have handled everything else, but losing him, i became what i feared. and now i had to watch him die again. gramps i cant see that ever again. he was my home. when i lost you guys i had him. but then i lost him before i really had him. and watching him die again reopened that wound that never fully healed and now i dont think i can go back. and i dont want to go back." i sob.  

"my child. time wont heal that wound but only someone who loves you and you loving them will heal that. it will hurt and they will understand. but it takes loving someone else, to be the thing that truly heals that. and when we lost you, we all searched for years trying to find you. and to find out that you went through so much on our behalf hurts us more than we can ever say. when mavis told us that she can help you we all found ourselves relived that we could see you and hear you again. but to find that you changed so much stings a little. but knowing your here right now takes that sting away." gramps soothes

"i hate how much blood i had spilled. but im thankful that i did because now they are safer then where they where. i hate that i became a monster. but i  dont fear it. i loved it because i knew what i was. but now im questing myself, if that was the right decision. but i dont think i will never not be that person ever again. i only did what i had to. i hated that i made them do that. but on the other hand, they deserved it.  but not just because of what they did to me, but because of everyone else they had done that to as well." i rambled painfully. 

"you only became what you needed. you knew that nobody was gonna save you. so you saved yourself. then learned to save others. sure your methods where a little bloody. but you did what had to be done. you did what others didnt have the courage to do. you became a weapon everyone feared, but you also became a leader that kept people alive. others may have seen it as killing, and it may have been a little harsh, you made sure they where able to eat for 6 years, and made it so that they would live, and not die in that bunker. you kept people alive. and you should be proud of that. you bore that burden so they didnt have to."  gramps reassures.

"he's right ya know. you only did what you had to do to survive. be proud of that" the group speaks.

"you may call it being a monster mama, but we call it surviving. you lost alot of people. but you where strong and kept going. you kept people from dying." Wendy confirms.