Sometimes you just need to lay on the floor.

     Addie was having a tough day. She was tired, she forgot to finish her homework, and there was hockey practice today. She often considered quitting the sport, but her mother wouldn't let her. The guys on her team looked at her like their own personal freak show. She was good, she loved playing, but it was difficult being forced onto the boys' team. Having to deal with all of that, along with teachers looking at her like she was worthless, was unfair. There were very few teachers she liked, but that's better than nothing, she supposed. Her first period English teacher- Ms. Henterly- was okay. Her chronic illness made her miss lots of school, though, so the subs were a mixed bag. The lunch monitor named Mitzi was kind. She always asked how Addie's day was going. On the first day of school, Mitzi made sure to keep an eye on the people around her. Then there was her Algebra class with Mrs. Folkrow. She was the best teacher she'd ever had. She never messed up, she always let her spend study halls in her room, and she talked and joked with her all the time. The rest of her teachers used her name but nothing else.
She considered all of this as she walked into first period, in her mind wondering if she was complaining too much. Other people had real problems. The newest long-term substitute, Mr. Gibson, had started roll call.
"Daniel? Daniel Simmons?" he said, dragging his gaze directly to her. "Oh... are you Daniel? You're sitting in his seat."
She was upset, but not surprised. Crying about how much of an ass he's being would accomplish nothing. Kids were already staring at her. "Yes, but please call me Addie." He wouldn't, but it's better to ask.  Mr. Gibson called her over as she collected her homework from the bright red bin in the corner of the class.
"Daniel? Come see me for a moment," His fingers drummed away at the desk impatiently, "I get that you probably haven't considered how your actions affect other people, so I'll explain it to you before you keep going with this behavior: The other students are trying to learn. Having some display of 'your truth'- or whatever you people want to call it - makes that even more difficult than it already is. Understood?" She didn't get why she tried anymore. No matter how miniscule a request, she was always making a scene.
Addie's bag seemed heavier than usual as she walked out of the classroom, unable to care that she was expected to respond. The day continued normally from there- she sat with the few friends she had at lunch, chatted with Mrs. Folkrow, and had ripped open tampons and slurs hurled at her all day. Hockey practice began a few minutes late since the coach had gotten coffee beforehand. She had extra time to change her clothes today. While she was slipping on her gear in her locker room, Addie heard some of the boys on her team running around and yelling outside. To anyone normal, it would've looked like they were just fooling around in the hall. To Addie, she heard and understood what they were talking about. How much they hate a particular slang term for 'transmission', how they'd kill that freak if they saw it. The boys outside threw in some of their other plans for 'it' while they were talking. She knew it was pointed, she knew it was meant to scare her or gross her out, but... she couldn't bring herself to care. Prioritizing her safety or comfort was simply inconvenient now. With a long sigh, she sat down. She waited until their footsteps and voices got quiet enough and left the language hall. Practice was too much to care about today. She went, she played, she got hit and laughed at, and she left.
On the walk home from practice, Addie's phone rang. Her mother was going to be home early- and her father had the day off today as well. Addie hated those days. It's not that she hated her parents, they were loving and kind. She just wanted to be relaxed at home for once. Whenever they were together, they bickered nonstop. Walking through the chipped side door and announcing she was home, she heard her mother yell.
"Hello? Who is it?" she said, humor in her voice. The joke wasn't as funny today.
"Just me, Mom. Your daughter?" Addie was tired. She was hungry. She wanted to cry and scream and hit her pillow. She was so exhausted that she couldn't bring herself to do any of that anymore. "I'm going to head down to the corner store, want anything?"
"Oh! No thanks," she spoke with a smile, "Did you finish your homework?" her happy voice was usually a nice sound, but today it grated against Addie's ears.
"Yeah. I'm headed to the park afterwards, so don't expect me back soon. I'll be out for a couple hours."
"Alright, don't get kidnapped." for a moment, statistics flashed through her mind. She was scared of them. After that moment, the fear was absorbed by a numbing, gray apathy. She walked out the kitchen door without a response.
The walk to the liquor store- which doubled as the cheapest corner store available- was uneventful. Addie's music was blaring in her earbuds, the deep bass and screeching guitar letting her breath for a moment. At the store, she grabbed some chips and candy. She figured a few energy drinks wouldn't hurt either. The total ticked up at the register, her card beeping in the chip reader. Addie heard the workers snickering behind the counter as she left. Maybe it was about her, maybe not. Either way they had to have been pointing and laughing at some freak, and she was the only one there.
Hanging around a playground was seen by most as weird or creepy behavior, but Addie still did it all the time. No one actually took their kids there anyway. Her hair fell into her eyes as she laid down, and the breeze moved it away before she could muster up the effort to do it herself. The floor of the playground was cold and uncomfortable. Her body heat was slowly making it better, and maybe it was making her feel better, too. The park was silent other than distant traffic and the sounds of tree branches shuffling together. Her eyes seemed to glow as the tears in them were illuminated by the setting sun, colors matching the leaves surrounding the playground equipment. The cool, gentle breeze coaxed the tears out of her eyes. Addie pictured herself, laying there on the floor of the playground, crying and letting candy fall out of the bag she'd bought as dusk consumed the park. She sat there, looking at everything that she's been through. She thought about how she wouldn't always be going through it. Addie wasn't going to be better for a while, but she was going to feel better. As she laid on the edge of that bright pink slide, Addie had hope.