Before we begin

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Author's note time! Okay, so yeah there's gonna be awful italicized song lyrics at the start of each chapter like this is a fucking songfic so uhh- Also yeah this whole fic reeks of fanon and my headcanons, also in this one Snowtrapped had a different ending (idk they did the body heat thing instead of fucking or whatever)

ANYGAYS I wanted to post my character designs for my kinda-sorta-not human SMG3 & 4 from this AU:

ANYGAYS I wanted to post my character designs for my kinda-sorta-not human SMG3 & 4 from this AU:

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(Ignore the random Splatoon ink around the edges of the drawing)

Meme Guardian SMG4 - He has the Vector Jacobs curse where he is adorable but irrationally feared for no reason.

Meme Guardian SMG3 - He used to be a legit threat feared throughout the Mushroom Kingdom, but now he's just seen as a pushover. He usually keeps his canon appearance instead of my design because he doesn't use it unless it's to scare people, and he doesn't scare people anymore.

(End of infodump)

(Also I'm doing the thing where I put funny images at the top again, disclaimer as usual none of them are mine and they're just from Tumblr)

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