maybe i'm not straight

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no, im not gay, but i'm not straight either. i love my mother, she's usually telling me to hang out more with emily and seems to be forgetting about my father, that's great, but im not great. i dont like emily, i find annoying how she does kissy faces to urge our lips to touch, its annoying to see how she gets angry at me for spending time with other women. i dont like this, i miss being without her.

i miss my friend. richard is not the same person, i barely see him and its painful, i heard rumours about emily getting him out of the way of our 'relationship', and i just wonder why she did that. im not gay, but i hate emily, i wish richard would hug and talk to me, i miss how he would sometimes hold my hand to comfort me in my worst moments, i miss him.

im done, im done with everything. emily is horrible, i hate her lips ,i hate her hair, i hate her hands, i hate her body, i hate her voice, i hate her personality, i hate her face, i hate her green eyes, i hate how she distanced richard from me, i wished i never met her. i cant continue this, but i will for my mother, i want her to be happy, i dont want to be like my father.

im going to see richard, i dont care what emily says. i'll see him tonight and speak to him, i told emily about it and she doesnt seems happy, but it doesnt matters, i want to see richard smile and hear his voice, i havent told my mother yet.

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(protagonist be having gay thoughts)

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