𝐓𝐎 𝐁𝐄 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐃 | 𝐆𝐗𝐆

𝟎𝟎𝟏 | 𝐌𝐄𝐄𝐓 𝐂𝐔𝐓𝐄

"You look just like your mother right now."

"I do not," I mumbled under my breath as I reordered the dust-collecting books on the shelf. Music played acting as a backtrack, some artist I did not choose. 

"What was that, hun?"

"Nothing, just fixing the books. We have so many, it's like a mini library."

"Well, you know, Monique did always love her books. That's where you got your passion, you know." I did know. My mother did always have a passion for reading, something she shared with me and her obsession spread like a plague. Despite how much I want to, I can't shake it. I used to use them as escapes from a bad situation. Now the situation is constant, and books are just a reminder of it. They aren't a gateway anymore. I don't feel like I'm living in the world anymore, just taking a glance into it.

"Do you have anything planned today?" My dad asked. I began to answer, then stopped. If I say no, he is probably going to invite me to something I have no interest in going to. He has been doing that a lot. Probably because it's getting close to the five year mark. He is trying to spend time with me to make me not think about it, but it's not working. If anything it just makes it worse. I think about how I've buried the eleven year old who just a week before that fateful Tuesday, we were all bonding with movie and board game nights, going out to eat, all these moments as a family. What happened?

"Yep." I try to be as vague as humanly possible, since I don't actually have any plans except to stay home and read or go on my phone. But of course, he asks the inevitable.

"Oh really? I don't think you've mentioned it," he states, implying he wants more details. I take a breath and quickly try to come up with something.

"Um, probably just go to the park down the street, near that coffee shop. Maybe I'll drop by that too, but mostly just for some fresh air." He nods.

"Going soon?" I check the time on my phone, 02:38. I haven't had lunch yet, I've been tidying up, and it would actually be nice to go sit by the park and look at the greenery.

"Maybe around 3, so like twenty minutes. That okay?" I ask. He nods once again and I continue shelving. Each book has a special memory tied to it, ranging from children's books to most recent. I run my hands over the covers, like a taste of nostalgia of something I used to enjoy. I don't think I could bring myself to read any of the books, I would most likely have to  go to the library and get something new, exciting and fresh. Now I do sound like Monique.

As time passes, three o'clock rolls around. I slip on my shoes and toss a tote bag over my shoulder. I go to grab my bike from the backyard of our picket-fenced house, unlocking it and lifting the breaks. Staying true to my story, I ride to the park just a few minutes away.

When I arrive, they have a very convenient area for bicycles with provided locks so no thieves steal them. The park is not like a playground, as you may assume, but it is actually a dog park. It has been here for a while, and I love coming to look at cute dogs and just sit and maybe eat a small lunch. Yes, there is the occasional dog poop that the owner of just leaves, but over all it is a nice place to calm yourself.

Before I go to take a seat at any bench, I go to the coffee shop, as I mentioned, placed beside it. I have said this and I will say it again; best placement ever. If you are taking your dog for a walk or to play, you can get yourself something if you're hungry and something for your dog, as they have many dog-safe options. Or if you are like me, just hungry and want to get away from your house, it is right beside a place with many seating areas. Or just to stop by for a quick coffee, too.

I walk in and up to the counter. It is a Sunday afternoon, which means everyone is probably in or just out of church or just staying home. So, naturally, it is not very busy. A few people sitting down, but very quiet. The barista greets me and I glance to the menu. I notice this is something I always do, even though I get the same thing every time I visit. But I guess it's just some reassurance to myself? I have no clue.

I am in and out of the shop quickly, and have an iced chocolate mocha in one hand and a croissant in the other. I take a seat in one of the benches scattered throughout the park and pop in some headphones. I begin to enjoy my order and just breath. This is a rare moment in my life where I feel sort-of at ease, the biggest worry on my mind not to step in dog droppings.

#

After a while, I finished my food and drink. I just scrolled through my phone mindlessly, from time to time looking up to see dogs running through the grass. I check my phone to see that about an hour has passed, and I should probably make my way home. I stand up from the bench, but when I do, a dog runs up to my feet and starts to bark playfully. I can't help but stop to pet it, dogs are my kryptonite. I always wanted one myself, but my mother was allergic. I haven't thought about this, but maybe we can get one now. I'll have to ask.

A beach blonde girl runs up to me and begins to apologize profusely.

"Oh my gosh, I am so sorry. I stopped to check something on my phone and next minute I know she's running over here to you. Looks like you're a dog magnet," she said, anxiously chuckling.

"Well, I can't complain, she is a cutie. What breed is she?"

"A Border Collie. Her name is Adelaide, I've had her for around two years now."

"Oh wow, really? I've always wanted a dog, but my mom is allergic."

"Well, I can say it's a great investment," she says while giggling. "Hey, maybe you can dog-sit sometime. Live out your dreams," she says. I can't help but grin at the thought. It really was my dream when I was younger to have a dog. I do visit the park often, but I haven't really gotten dog fever since now. It does sound fun.

"Really? You'd let me watch Adelaide because she ran to me and I just happen to want a dog?"

"Sure, why not? I have been a little occupied lately and of course I want to give her all my attention, but it gets busy sometimes. I'm sure she'd love some new company, and of course I would pay you for your time." I glance down at the dog, panting at my feet. She is really cute, a white stomach with black fur on her back, legs, and face. I would absolutely love to take care of her, even if only for hours at a time.

"I would love to. Hell, I'd do it for free."

"I want to compensate you, time is money."

"Well it feels like I'm getting paid if I'm spending it with adorable Adelaide." We both giggle and exchange numbers. We part our ways, and I go to retrieve my bike from its station. I hop on and start pedaling my way home. This time, I make it a point to observe my surroundings and notice buildings I have or have never been in before, people I'll probably never see again, or at least never talk to. I don't know why that encounter made me feel sentimental.

When I get home, I walk around to the backyard of our house and just hop the fence. It's easier than going inside and dragging a muddy bike through the floor and having to clean it up later. I hoist it over the fence and lean it against our home. Before going inside, I look in my phone for the woman's number. She didn't put her name, weird. She listed herself as Adelaide's Mom. It sounds like one of my friend's mom gave me her number in case we needed anything. It made me laugh to myself.

I enter the house through the back door, the living room is empty so I assume my dad is upstairs. I plop myself on the couch and begin to look up how to babysit for a dog.