𝖴𝗇𝖾𝗑𝗉𝖾𝖼𝗍𝖾𝖽 𝖱𝗈𝗈𝗆𝗆𝖺𝗍𝖾 | 𝖧.𝖧𝖩

1. goodbyes

𝓐 h, college.

I was quite excited. Way more than I should be. Sure, I wanted freedom from my parents, but, realistically speaking, would I do anything even without my parent's supervision? I was quite boring. I'm not a fan of big parties, I never liked drinking nor smoking, and I was not interested in getting into a relationship. I liked parties, just only ones with my close friends. Anyone else made me uncomfortable.

Since high school, I would say I'm generally quite shy and quiet. The only time this statement was not true, however, was with my group of nine amazing friends. I'm definitely introverted and much more boring compared to the rest of them though, which made me annoyingly insecure.

They loved me, and I loved them, but why would I always compare myself to them? I felt so worthless compared to them, like a side character. I knew I wasn't ugly. But I felt like the most hideous person around them. I knew it was my own problem, that I was highly insecure, but I didn't know what to do about it. I couldn't even speak up for myself whenever someone would talk shit about me, uncaringly loud,, knowing I'll hear and just listen. I was being teased for the stupidest shit too.

"nerd"
"anti-social"
"filler member"

Why was being smart so negative in high school?

I was sadly not unknown though, as my group is popular for their looks, but no one really cared about me. I was probably the least-popular person in the group during highschool. When I was noticed, especially by guys, I would get the most disgusting people trying to date me. One of them that was named Yeonjun, being a young fool, I actually gave a chance.

Oh, what a dick that man was.

He took me out to a restaurant just for me to pay, even though he asked me out. He didn't even ask me if I was okay with paying for the food! It was as if I was just an excuse for him to eat free food.

Another problem was how disrespectful he was towards me. You know, when he asked me out, he looked like a sweetheart. Like he would take care of me when I am sick, take care of my kids, be gentle with me, and be an absolute blessing. Instead, I had dealt with the exact opposite.

After he finally finished his food, he didn't even offer me a ride home. It was LATE. About 12am, and he still didn't give a shit. He told me to pick up my heels and walk home barefoot! I hope karma beats that fucker! Like, I'm sorry asshole. I only wore this because I put effort into this stupid date for you! Ugh! What a piece of shit!

To make matters worse, the next day at high school, he told EVERYONE that we had sex and that I lost my virginity to win the bet he made with his friends. Obviously, I would never lose it with someone like him. God, what a joke. He was much more cocky than I thought. After this, people had such a negative image of me. I unlocked a whole new area of names to be called by.

"Slut"
"fool"
"whore"
"bitch who got played"
"easy"

and so, so many more I can't remember. It felt like no one would listen to me when I said he lied. I only had my friend group to support me.

Technically, the school got played. I can't believe everyone believed him. It absolutely helped that Yeonjun was quite popular in the school too.

Now that college was starting, I wanted to focus on myself. Focus on becoming the best version of myself and defending myself. Being more confident. Focus on being more loving of myself, and being less insecure. I didn't want some fucking douchebag to mess up my life, my image, my future career.

Now, I'll move on to my group of lovely friends which consists of 9 people, excluding myself. Nayeon, Jeongyeon, Momo, Sana, Jihyo, Mina, Dahyun, Chaeyoung, and Tzuyu. We called ourselves "TWICE" because, and I quote, "most people have to take a double look when staring at our beauty".