FEARLESS [ malcolm in the middle ]

23. in love

❛ Give you the silence that only comes when two people understand eachother
Family that I chose now that I see your brother as my brother ❜
- peace, Taylor Swift

That evening was surprisingly peaceful, Lois was spent with all of the jetlag and had already been asleep when we got home.

Hal ordered us all pizza since no one was going to make dinner, and it was awesome. I had almost forgotten how good pizza tasted when it wasn't the frozen store-bought kind and when I could enjoy it with people I love.

Earlier, when Hal walked in and laid eyes on Reese, he erupted in a flurry of scoldings until he embraced his son so tightly I thought his eyes were going to pop out. At this point, the love/hate dynamics in this family are to be expected.

Now, Hal is dozing off in front of the TV. We're all getting done with eating and Malcolm and Dewey both get up from the table to do their own things, leaving me with Reese who is feeding Jamie little pieces of pizza.

I watch as Jamie giggles at his older brother. "It's good! I know," Reese says in a cute tone, which elicits a smile from me.

Reese sits back in his chair as Jamie clumsily shoves a couple more pieces of pizza in his mouth.

Now that we're pretty much alone, my mind begins to swim with all the emotions I've been feeling. As I stare at the boy's profile, I recall his confession earlier today—he doesn't just love me, he's in love with me. He had to clarify that to me, and I didn't even get the chance to tell him I felt the same way—although that kiss should've straightened things out.

"Reese?" My voice comes out as sort of a whisper. His head turns at it.

"Huh?"

His wide eyed gaze makes my breath catch in my throat. It hits me how out of place this is. Nonetheless, I regain my composure so that I can say the most important words I will ever say to him.

"I've been meaning to tell you... that I'm in love with you too."

I can make out his pupils dilating and his lips curving upwards under the kitchen light. He lets out a low laugh, and I can't tell why. It almost sounds like disbelief. "You have no idea how long I've been waiting to hear that," he says.

I am rendered speechless by his sincere look and his words. I don't think I've ever been so nervous around him. The only thing I can muster out before looking away is, "I think I do." And it's true, because it's been well over a year that I acknowledged my romantic feelings for him. Though I'm a little surprised at the revelation that he has also held them for a while, it sort of adds up given his explanation of what happened before he left.

And just like that I circle back to him leaving—how horrible this past month has been. My eyes sting at the remembrance. "You know... I don't think I care about anyone like I do you," I tell him. I make sure my eyes are looking deeply into his, unwavering—I never want to look away again.

He nods, "Yeah... I know that while I was out there in the desert, fighting for my life, all I could think of was you. How badly I wanted to live so that I could be back here with you." My heart feels like it's going to explode. The thought of him out there so relentless and brave makes me proud, but I also know that must have been lonely and so, so terrifying.

"I can't believe you're barely turning seventeen and already a veteran. You're absolutely crazy, do you know that?" I smile to lighten the mood.

"I know... and what'd you say? Seventeen? Wow," he looks at the ground, trying to make some calculations in his head.