Between The Tides Of Pain & Rapture | MxM

Chapter 10

Nathan liked Matthew a lot.

Matthew was like a brother he had always begged his mother for when he was a young boy.

It had been years since he had someone to talk to, a real friend who listened to his troubles and tribulations like it was their own, who gave him comforting words and a shoulder to lean on in times of need, who offered him a safe space when he had no one to turn to. Matthew had given him all that and more during the short time they had known each other, so it was no surprise when one day - about a week ago - he broke down with tears and confessed to Matthew he was secretly gay. At the time he had expected Matthew to end their friendship and cast him out for his immorality; for deceiving his wife, probably throw in a couple of slurs as well. None of that happened though. Instead Matthew lent him a shoulder to cry on, and expressed with a soft voice, "Nothing will change our friendship."

For the longest while Nathan desperately wanted someone to believe in - someone who wasn't his wife or mother who would judge him and blame him and banish him for his knowingly wrongful actions. He wanted someone who wouldn't expose him, someone who wouldn't exile him, someone who would understand, and accept him. So he believed Matthew's words with his whole heart, and when the weekend arrived, he was eagerly ready to go spend time with his friend.

Saturday evenings in Evanston were unlike anything in Georgetown. After Matthew had picked Nathan up from his apartment, they drove some distance into the suburban streets and then went on foot, exploring.

They visited a local restaurant and checked in a couple of stores. Evanston wasn't the typical suburbs. It wasn't a ghost town; it had friendly people, it had greenery, fewer crimes, more parks, cafes - it felt homely in a sense. And despite everything going on in Nathan's life, he hoped to spend the rest of his life living there. However, when the later night approached, Matthew drove them to downtown Chicago, about thirty minutes away, to show Nathan the great place he had planned.

The second the car slowed down in front of a nightclub with blinding neon lights, and a sign, THE LOFT, plastered in capital letters, a deep frown on Nathan's forehead, and a thick lump appeared in his throat - and the insides of his palms turned wet with sweat. Yet he kept his mouth shut; there wasn't anything to say anyway other than, he grew up believing nightclubs were the devil's playground.

Even at his age, he refused to go into a nightclub. Bars were okay; nightclubs were a big NO. All sorts of things happened there, wrongful things; people would use drugs like candies, lawlessness at every eye turn, vulgar behavior - the list went on.

"Here we are," Matthew said with a broad smile the second he pulled up in the drive-through of The Loft. "This is the place I've been telling you about. Com'on -" he unbuckled his seatbelt. "Let's go."

"Wait."

Matthew paused upon hearing the nervousness in Nathan's voice before he arched a confused eyebrow at Nathan, then asked, "Is something wrong?"

Nathan cleared his throat. "A nightclub?" he asked. "It looks a bit shady, don't you think?"

Matthew shrugged his shoulders. "Nonsense," he said, turning his attention away from Nathan, he opened his side of the car door. "I've been coming here for years. I'm friends with the owner, you know. Don't worry -" he stepped outside, then glanced back at Nathan still strapped in the car seat. "As far as I know, this is the safest place in Chicago. Trust me."

Nathan did trust him, very much so.

"Yeah..." With a deep sigh, Nathan realized he might be over-exaggerating. His father was no longer alive; he was a grown man - a married man. "You're right, I just -" he too, opened his car door and joined Matthew. "I'm just not a fan of nightclubs