The Queen's Gambit || chaennie

Red Sunflower Fields

Roseanne Park

Remy had, without hesitation or any fuss, carried me piggyback style for miles across fields and hills of tall grasses, crops, and grazing farm animals.

My ankle had swollen quite a bit, but I could do nothing for it.

We travelled in silence and all I thought about was how another person had died because of me.

I felt defeated.

Nothing I did seemed to change things the way I wanted. I was stuck in a state of reacting or coming quickly to regret my choices. But the worst of it was that I didn't really feel bad about the driver. I should have felt terrible. I should have been horrified by Remy.

I wasn't.

I was tired and sad and didn't mind all the dried blood I could feel on my face.

I was free, but I had no idea where I was, where I was going or how I would get back to Jennie.

Remy tapped under my knee, signalling he was going to put me down.

He steadied me as he looked ahead.

"Round that bend, we'll see the yellow of the sunflower fields outside my village. I don't think it's a good idea to walk on in through the main road. Vouna guardsmen might be waiting for us, assuming they've noticed us missing and think we're stupid enough to go home. Which we are, mind you," he said and smiled at me. I returned his smile.

"What's the plan then?" I asked.

He wiped the back of his hand against his forehead. It was hot now and we were both visibly grimy.

"There's a small farm just on the outskirts. I'll take you there, see if we can get a look at that ankle and a change of clothes. I'll get Sheila and we can travel the backroads to Kings City together. We can part ways then."

"Okay, but what if Vouna guards are in the village?" I asked.

"Don't worry now, flower girl. I can handle myself and they don't know the village or surrounding lands like I do. You did your part. You got me out of that cell; I'd have been stuck there until my death without your help. I'll do my part now, get you on the road to that Princess of yours."

I couldn't help the smile that tugged at my lips at the mention of Jennie. Remy made me believe that I would be back with her soon.

"Thanks for everything," I told him.

I had been in my head, focusing too much on my hurts to appreciate what Remy, a stranger, had done for me. He had taken a risk with his life to escape. He didn't leave me behind. He probably could have walked out the bailey past the guards, but he had got us in the van, he carried me when I couldn't walk, and yes, he had killed for us.

I felt the weight of what he had given me.

"Sometimes we do wrong things for the right reasons," he told me, his voice quiet as he turned to face away from me.

"I'm not a good man, never have been - not on my own. But Sheila, she made me good. Made me want to be better. But I'm still not a good man, flower girl. Don't thank me like that; I've done far worse than you saw today, and I'd do worse still to get back to her." He seemed almost angry with himself.

I felt like I understood what he meant.

I would do whatever it took to get back to Jennie, to be with her, to keep her safe. And that truth was why I couldn't feel bad about the driver.