Flour

chapter 2

"Where you been at boy?" Daddy said as I walked up to the porch. He was slumped over high as a bird. "Fishin" I told him holding up a batch of Brim. "You been spending an awful lot of time down there" his tone was almost friendly and I could tell he was in the Laudanum this time. "Eugenia! Me and Gideon gon' head out for a while". He turned back to me with a mischievous look on his face. "I got a little something planned for your Birthday".

Now I wasn't expecting much on my 15th Birthday. In fact I wasn't expecting anything at all. We didn't have money for presents and Daddy had thrown our whole sack of flour in the fire the night before so I sure as hell wasn't getting a cake. "Go comb ye hair and change outta them clothes" was the only clue I got as to where we would be going. I went upstairs to put on the only other pair of pants I had and a shirt mama had  patched the holes up in that had belonged to Angus. It was a little small but it didn't look too torn up. I didn't have shoes that fit me. My feet had grown near about 2 sizes since last year and I hadn't saved up enough money to buy new ones. I washed up as best I could then went back down stairs. I had a pit in my stomach by the time I made it back outside and saw Daddy hitching up the wagon. "He's going to kill me" I thought, this it, but then again he didn't ever get violent on laudanum alone so I figured it was best to just go ahead and go because lord knows it would have been a problem later once he got into the liquor. We headed down the road out towards the river. October had been an unusually warm month. The trees hadn't turned as much as they should have by now. I hoped maybe he'd carry me into town so I could get me those new pair of shoes I needed so bad. I figured I only had about another week of warm weather and after that I'd be stuck wearing someone's hand me downs that weren't much better than my own small ones.

I realized right off that we weren't going into town when he took a left off towards the side of the mountain into the next county over. The hunting out this way was good but I never had reason to go passed the bridge." Where we goin?" He turned his yellowed eyes towards me and studied me for a second. He looked dead inside. Probably because he was. He'd been dead for years now. "You ever had any pussy boy?" It took me off guard at first. I wasn't sure how to answer his question. Was I supposed to have been with a woman by now? I didn't have a clue. I shook my head no. I felt ashamed. Maybe I was supposed to have had some by now. I didn't know.

He let out a crazed laughed and patted me hard on my back causing me to near about fall out of the wagon. "I should've known you ain't had none. You soft just like your Mama" he mumbled a few other things I couldn't quit catch and I fell further into my panic.

Birthdays never were good for me. The year before I had woke up to the sound of a shotgun going off out in the barn lot. I looked over next to me to see Raymond out of the bed and staring out the window. "He shot my dog" he turned to me and said. We spent my Birthday digging a grave for Raymond's poor mut dog. Daddy never did care what he had done. Went on like nothing ever happened.

We came up on a wooden house sitting way back off the road. By that time I had almost soaked through my shirt and recounted what sorry life I had lived so far and apologized to the lord for any of my wrong doings. I didn't go out this way and we were far enough out by now that if he did decide to kill me the only thing that would find me would be the animals. "Whatchu got there?" a woman who looked a good 10 years older than Daddy stood on the front porch in a blue dress. She had on bright red lipstick and the biggest chest I had ever seen. "Gotchu you a customer" Daddy said "it's my son's birthday and I want you to treat him right". "What's your name baby?" She said and I caught sight of here yellow teeth. "Gideon ma'am". "Well what can I do for you today?" "Git out the wagon son, she got you a present waiting inside" he kicked me on the leg hard enough to know that I had better get out of that wagon or I would be hearing about it later.

My whole body felt like lead and I dragged myself up to the porch where the lady was standing. "Come on in I got some women in here for you to choose from that I think you might like"