Lesbian Thoughts of a Dominant [18+]

6

WARNING: Toxic.

So did you have fun with your sister today kitten?

You know your mommy likes to write, don't you?.

Mommy has a story she thinks you must read.

Read it dear, and tell mommy what my baby girl learned okay.

~

Jealousy, even the way it pronounces is so foreign, almost impossible, quite inappropriate.

I'm not a very good person, not even close to being called Pure, but never have I been jealous of another, I swear. I was always happy for others. I always cheered for them even when I didn't receive anything back at all. I was genuinely happy for those who have achieved things whether I knew them or not.

Then how did I end up like this, jealousy taking over my better judgment? Dripping from my heart like venom, making me do things I shouldn't.

Maybe I'm obsessed, possessive even, but to the point I want to control, to make her submit and bow to me, to hold the upper hand and to use it to keep her like a toy. that's not really a good thing.

But then again, do I look like I care? I'm angry, angry with her and the other girl between us, the most loving two girls in my life. How does she became 'other girl' she is my fucking best friend, and she, the supposed love of my life. I'm angry, almost blinded by the rage, how could she smile if I'm not the reason behind it.

I know I'm being selfish, hypocrite and cruel even, but so what? I warned her from the very beginning what she gets herself into.

I said I'm a demon and I told her very clear not to have empty hopes that I'll change, cause I won't. This darkness is a part of me, and it is powerful enough to devour me deep, completely make me inhuman.

And now, blinded by the rage I give in.

I didn't go home that night, which is enough for her to be scared for life. She knew from the experience that night always awake the hidden monsters. She knew she would be struggling in her sleep, stirring to every nightmare, still she slept, always.

Because she was stupid.

Cause she still refused to see how the love of her life turned into to that merciless monster, the most foolish form the blind love can take.

And when I finally arrived to our house, I didn't bother to change still in my suit as I sat on the sofa, taking off the blazer and the tie, and rolling my sleeves, I unbuttoned my shirt half way. I know I smelled like alcohol, but I'm very much sober as I called her other phone.

I can hear the specific ringing tone coming from her room. I can imagine how she jolts awake at the sound which was like a bad omen to her, always bringing the hell with it. I can almost see her face covered in fear but she knows more than to make me wait, so she comes down with trembling steps, yes I can hear them.

I smirk.

She stood infront of me, trying to act like she's okay, like what's going to happen will be alright, which she failed miserably, shivering, as her face hung low.

"Kneel..."

So she knelt infront of me.

"Look. At. Me." I ordered in a cold tone and her eyes shot up meeting my eyes.

"Strip"

And I watch the cloths leave her body, exposing my toxicity, her skin bruised and swollen, wounds and burns not so old.

So I go on one knee, my hands roaming through her scattered skin, making her flinch under my my touch as I leaned to her face.

"Confess"

Her eyes teared as she stuttered.

"I- I.."

"Do. Not. Make. Me. Repeat. Myself"

"I-I don't know"

And I slapped her, hard.

"Bitch"

~~~~

Next day I wake up, covered in blood, not mine. And there she is, under me, her skin scattered as new bruises and burns fresh on her flesh still bleeding. Her breathing is uneven as her face stirs to every single movement in pain.

So I lift her up, taking her to the washroom and laying her down on the tub for an ice bath. She won't be able to walk at least for a day as I had ruined her last night completely.

She flinches when the cool water touches her body, but she is not fully conscious yet. So I leave her there, returning to the living room as I try to erase evidence of what happened last night, with her screams echoes in my mind. But my try is not really successful as the burns on the coffee table and red stains on the white couch is cannot necessarily be repaired. It's not the first time I had to replace anyway. It's not like I'm broke or something, guess I'll call the service afternoon.

So I gave up the failed attempt with a heavy heart as I went back to the washroom, bathing her, careful to not hurt her than I already have. I feel she's conscious but I cannot meet her eyes.

So I take her out and wrap her in a towel as I carries her to our bedroom. I can feel she touches my cheek, but I cannot respond to the touch.

Then I lay her on the cozy chair by the fireplace, attending her wounds one by one with trembling hands, still not meeting her eyes.

She flinches as I apply the medicine, but I cannot really continue as my eyes boke in tears as I bury my face on her lap.

She immediately reached me as she softly stroked my hair, reassuring "it's okay"

I slowly calm down, finally gathering my courage to meet her eyes and they were full of love and genuine concern, not even a hint of hate, anger or at least a disappointment visible there.

"Love, I-"

"Sh...It's really okay dear."

All those years after everything I had done I have never apologized her, not even once.

She wouldn't let me. she refused to bound me in an empty promise which is meant to be broken, where both of us to be hurt in the end.

So I stand up, slowly cupping her face as I leave a long kiss on her forehead, then on her lips as well, slowly muttering a

"I love you..."

~

Did you liked the story kitten?

Well done baby, you recognised it. Yes it's from my book, Your Melody.

Anyway, what did you learned today?

.......technically yes, I love you even if I hurt you. But what else?

Yes kitten, that you can't smile if mommy is not the reason behind it, or mommy will punish you.

So let me ask again kitten,

Did you have fun with your sister today kitten?