Whispers of Love

Chapter 1 - Muds and Roses

Chapter 01 - Muds and Roses

"One year…" I mused to myself as I stood in front of her tomb, flowers at hand. I still couldn't believe it myself… time flew by for all but me. 

Nothing has changed since then. A bottle here, a bullet there… it's all the same crap I've been doing all my life. It's all the same crap that lead to me standing right here, right now, in front of her grave one year after she died… because of me. And I still haven't changed one bit. 

Roses… those were her favorite flowers. And black was her favorite color. So that's what I brought her today - a bouquet of black roses as I would have given her every Valentine's, every Christmas, every anniversary and birthday… every celebration she'll never have anymore because of me. 

I didn't notice it immediately, but tears have begun trailing down my cheeks. Luckily, the skies noticed my sorrow and made it rain to hide my emotions. 

"I'm sorry…" I thought as I gently laid the bouquet down her tomb. I offered up a short prayer though God is surely deaf of me after all my sins, then quickly left. Her family would be here soon and they wouldn't be happy to have me here. 

The downpour remained strong, however, as I wandered the streets back to my apartment. How many times have I walked this place? I do not know. How much blood have I spilled here I don't remember. My mind contained only one thought and one thought alone - that I've done nothing to change. That I'm still the same person that caused her death…

Those thoughts filled my mind so much so that, as I crossed the street, I did not notice the horn of a speeding car that wouldn't have been able to stop in time. Nor would I be able to react now that I did. My thoughts were so far away that it simply never came to me that I could simply move away… 

So I stared at the car, at the driver, and at death offering me his warm embrace. 

And yet I lived. 

At first I didn't know how, but it all soon came to me. 

There was a girl who saw what was about to go down. She was standing right behind me. I felt her tackle me out of the way, bringing me back to life and giving the driver a huge sigh of relief. He stopped just after where I would have died and went to check on me. 

Maybe if I was more like these people…

"Are you alright?" asked the girl who tackled me out of the way. 

I finally got a good look on her face. I've seen her before. Plenty of times, even. She works at a bakery a couple blocks from here… I think she owns the place? I never caught her name though. What was she doing here in the middle of the day? I'm not really sure… I don't know anything… I can't think of anything… 

…

The next thing I knew I was in the hospital. I wasn't gravely injured but I suppose I didn't move or respond. I hear everyone clearly, yet I cannot bring myself to say anything. Only two words filled my mind then - One Year. 

I can't get it out of my head. 

So the doctors did their thing. They examined my physical body and found no grave injury. I guess they decided that it's best to put me to sleep as the next thing I know I woke up and the girl was beside me. 

Her face was white as a sheet. It seems that she's been here for a while, but why?

Why would she be here for so long?

"Thank god you're finally awake!" she said as I opened my eyes. She embraced me deep, but I simply looked at her, confused. 

"Who are you?" I asked. 

Hearing my words, she reeled back in shock, her face distorted into one of fear and anxiety. "You don't remember?" she said, tears starting to form in her eyes. 

Once again, I gave her a confused look. 

"Oh god…" Her cheeks were now wet as she flashed a ring on her finger, her other hand pointing at a similar ring on the table beside my bed. "I'm your fiancè!" She pulled me into another embrace. I could feel the back of my hospital gown get wet from all the crying. 

I've never known this woman before. Or rather, I know her but only as a familiar face in a familiar place who happened to be the one who pushed me away from death. She was just… in the right place, at the right time. And yet… and yet what's this she says? 

I still don't understand what's happening, but I didn't realize that I, too, began to cry. I didn't know what these tears are for, but they exist. And, through their existence, I felt compelled to return her embrace as she buried her face down my dampened shoulder.