The 13-Year Campaign

Chapter 9

You were becoming more restless as the group went on. You had to do something beyond this task. Instead of meagering around, you wanted to have fun. This was the last two years you would be free. It was no longer fun studying and writing and all you wanted to do was distract yourself from your thoughts. Ibrihim's warning and the future that would come. You looked at your fellow trainees. The smell and the food of Eldians were not ideal. They did not shower as much as you did, and the hygiene was disgusting. You could smile and tolerate it but when you saw your family it was always a relief to be around a fresh scent. This suffocation would be inescapable in an assigned life in the MPs and especially in marriage. You wanted to be free and feel loose but the clothes on your body felt so heavy and hot.

Eren trekked on ahead of the rest of the group and then you all felt a sigh of even fresher air. You came to a cliff that overlooked a large lake.

Without hesitation, you began stripping down to your undergarments and putting up your hair. Armin looked away while Eren just watched in confusion. You leaned to look over the cliff. It sloped down and the waters below were not easy to spot. The waves lapped at the cliff and with the ripples it made, you knew it was deep enough.

You placed your hands on your hips and looked back over your shoulder at your comrades. Your smile was bright and as bright as the sun behind you. It had been the first time you had been genuinely smiling but your crazed eyes, and it was clear you would not think. Spontaneity usually was not your thing.

"We have a few hours to kill," you beamed. It clicked in Eren's head what you were planning to do, and he gritted his teeth.

"We should head back then instead of messing around." He turned away from the cliff and back towards the grounds. "Quit joking around and put your clothes back on." You ignored him and looked back out towards the water. The sun peaking over the perimeter of trees with birds rising above them was too irresistible.

"I think I will take a dip. You will make it to the meeting spot with more than enough time. Do not worry your little head, Jaeger."

"Don't do it," he snarled.

You leaped but Eren successfully grabbed you before you made it over. With his arms wrapped around your midsection, he pulled you back almost tipping over.

"I am serious. I know you are used to slacking off nowadays, but I take training seriously."

You pushed yourself away from him. And turned to face him with an even more ferocious look in your eye than his that made Eren's blood boil. You were a little embarrassed that everyone could tell you checked out and as if he was judging you and looking down on you.

"You don't know me so don't feel like you can guess." You yelled back.

Eren shot his forehead towards you to headbutt some sense into you. You rammed your head into him to match his. Two hard heads clashed for a battle of strength.

"We are being graded and on a mission that Shadis gave us," Eren pushed back and did not expect you to be so strong. "I am not going to let you, or anyone keep me from my goal. You are keeping us from completing this with your bullshit."

"Oh, ho," you shoved your head and pushed his back before he could counter it. "Your hard-headed ass is so blind to the obvious games and tricks they are having you play. We left early and we are not graded on getting back first."

"You are wasting my time. I thought having you on my team would be a help more than a detriment. What is with you? You are never like this."

"How would you know what I'm like?!" You howled and pushed Eren away from you with your blazing aura. He and Armin became afraid at the inferno of energy emanating from around you. Normally so composed, it was like witnessing a natural disaster when your face heated and your body shook the earth.

"None of you could understand anything. If you have an issue with me or what I am doing, fine. Do not you ever talk down to me, on me, or put your fucking hands on me again. I am used to small-minded people here having assumptions about me and they treat me like dirt because of it." You pointed to Reginald who took the call-out easily. He had been torturing you for a while, sneakily picking at you and undermining your accomplishments. You acted differently and coming from less than humble beginnings, Reginald envied your perceived wealth. He felt slightly proud that his behavior had gotten to you.

"I deal with that every single day, and I am not going to let you do the same. No," you pointed at him with anger rising in your voice and tears in your eyes. "You know nothing about me. Now I know that you look down on me, any respect I had for you is gone. But I will tell you this, respect me because as a human being, I deserve it regardless of what you or anyone else thinks.

"You are too simple-minded to think beyond what you are told. We have time to kill. Don't you like killing? Not my fault nor my problem that your only goal in life is to be a body."

Eren's eyes blazed and he took a step towards you. The red on his face crept to the tips of his ears, turning them scarlet.

"You need some impulse control, you sneered. "Your mother must be proud."

The red in Eren's face flooded out.

"That's enough y/n," Armin said sheepishly. "let's just head back."

"Hey, guys," Sasha interrupted. She had her hands folded in her chest and burdened eyes. "We should set up camp and just eat. It is getting late."

Rudely, you rammed your shoulder into his to push past him back into the forest and down the trail where Friday was. When you reconvened with the group, you saddled your horses. You pet yours and shoot Eren a dirty look before begrudgingly putting back on your uniform.

The silence was uncomfortable, so Armin looked around and up. He noticed a few ravens and tried to ignore the uncomfortable silence. You were close by him with a scowl on his face and he could tell Eren felt a bit guilty about what he said earlier. The group still searched for a suitable campsite through the bush.

You felt you said something wrong and felt guilty but the anger in your heart would not let you address your guilt in this exchange. eren said nothing and would not even look at you. Armin's eyes shifted between the two of you as you studied Eren. His strides were so smooth, and it was clear how lost in his own thoughts he had become. You have never seen him so... quiet. Your anger began to fade. Armin looked up to his friend ahead. Eren definitively could hear you two but like always had a one-track mind that led him without another thought. He could but chose not to hear. You said something so unintentionally cruel that he had to have this one goal before even having the couth to register any depth into your statement. The connections and memories it brought him to.

"Be careful with your words," Armin whispered to you. "Eren's a lot but can be sensitive to certain things."

You scoffed.

"Eren lost his mother," Armin said. He blames himself for it so. Just be careful with what you say in the future." You nodded and felt any anger dissipate within you as guilt crept up your spine.

Be careful with what you say. You? You are always careful. That is what you were taught to do. You have had people here ignorantly insult your culture before but for some reason here it touched a nerve. Maybe because it insinuated that your culture was to blame for your poor decisions. Or because he inadvertently called your people lazy. Both insecurities you had from growing up. The reason you were here was because people deemed you too disruptive to represent anybody and so many that they had to get rid of you. It felt like something you have heard most of your life, now just from an Eldian person. But you were wrong in this situation to the degree that you wanted to shrink away until you were nothing.

When the group reached a slide of rocks leading to higher ground, you all climbed them and led your horses as well. When you struggled to get your footing on one rock, Eren extended his hand to help you. His face appeared non-threatening despite his always furrowed eyebrows but, his eyes were sincere and professional.

"Thanks," you said and took his hand for him to pull you up. He nodded. As you were on his level he let go and turned to look ahead, beginning to climb again. You did not speak after that, but he was not holding too much of a grudge it seemed.