Descry

Journal Entries..

For me, my view on depression was simple.

I wanted to die, but I, in my heart, knew I just needed saving.

But.. Nobody seemed to notice.

If they did, they sure didn't try to save me.

Some people say depression is like a war.

Some say depression isn't real.

Well. It is.

It is a war that cannot be won, and it's real.

I struggle with it every minute,

every second of the day.

I always felt like I was drowning.

..I still do..

Those were the words of young Darcy, years after 'it' happened. Lets get back to where we left off, yeah?

A little after he left to go to work, Darcy emerged from her room. Her mother was standing at the stove cooking with her little sister Maiah on her hip. Darcy tugged on her mother's sleeve and stared up at her with wide eyes.

 Her mother looked down at her with soft, warm eyes. Darcy had managed to choke out something. "Papa.. He.." she started to say while twiddling her thumbs and trying not to cry. Her mother looked at her sternly. "Child, spit it out! I have things I have to be doing." She looked up at her mother and sighed.

 Finally she managed to say "Papa.. He.. Touched me, mama.. He did horrible things to me." her eyes filled with warm tears and spilled down her cheeks. Darcy's mom turned off the stove and bent down, Maiah still resting on her hip.

 "Darcy.." Her mother whispered as she wiped the tears off of her 13 year old daughter's face. "I'm sorry, baby. But I can't do anything, he supports this family. He is the one who can get a job and get money. I can't. Times are hard, honey, but soon they'll be better. I promise. Now go wash up for dinner." 

Darcy was completely flabbergasted at what her mom had just said to her. She wasn't going to do anything?! Not even try to make her feel better? Darcy nodded meekly and shuffled out of the kitchen.

 She headed straight to the bathroom and took a hot shower, and brushed her teeth. She surely was never going to return to this goddamned place.

 Darcy headed to dinner, and saw her father was sitting at the table. He smiled at her which made her stomach reel in disgust. She sat down across from him and didn't make eye-contact. 

After she'd finished her dinner, she sneaked some food from the kitchen and scampered back into her room. She pulled out a large duffel bag and filled it with food, water, and necessities.

 She took out her backpack from the small school she went to and filled it with blankets and clothes. Darcy took one last glance at her bedroom before opening the window and climbing down. She wasn't going to look back now. Darcy took off running down the street, never to return to that house again.