I gazed out the window, transfixed by the last few sparkles of sunlight, as they flickered out of sight, the darkness of the night soon taking over. I turned to my phone, expecting to see a call or a text, anything from my mother. It had been nine years since I last heard anything from her, and I couldn't shake this feeling that something more must have gone wrong. Yesterday was my sister's birthday, and I was crushed when no card arrived. I began to hate my mother in those last few years, convinced that she must have left because she didn't care enough about us.
I'd always thought that a mother's love was unconditional, but I soon came to learn of the hard truth that not everyone leaves just because of another person, sometimes the reasons can be more complicated than we think. Still, no matter how much I tried to understand, I couldn't come to terms with why my mother would abandon me. I curled up in bed, gazing intently at the moonless sky, while the wind of the night caressed my skin with an unassuming touch, my hopes of finally receiving answers slowly fading away into nothingness.
I lay there in that moment, lost in thought, contemplating my feelings of abandonment and hopelessness, while the coldness of the night settled in around me. I couldn't make sense of it all, and the only thing holding my family together was the unconditional love of my sisters towards me. They were always there for me, even when I didn't think they would be, and that gave me some sense of peace. Still, I couldn't shake this deep feeling of sadness that constantly haunted me, its roots growing stronger with each moment that passed.
I knew there must be something more to why my mother left us, something I would likely never understand. As the wind outside danced its merry tune over the trees, a sense of longing came over me once more, thinking of how things could have been if my mother hadn't left. Those long ago days of spending time together as a family now seemed like just a distant memory, the warmth of our togetherness forever lost, and a chill took its place instead
...
I woke up to Louise in my closet, rummaging through my clothes. "What are you doing?" I rubbed the sleepiness out of my eyes.
"I have nothing to wear." She answered, still filing through my shirts. Today was her first day of junior year. Louise was known for her sense of style, and her ability to be late with everything.
"I thought I told you to stay out of my room," I say standing up out of bed and stretching.
"You did, but uh...I don't care." Louise grabbed a gray sweater and danced out of the room like she had just won a game. I hated that little dance she did, it reminded me of Mom. I shook my head, clearing away my thoughts.
I put on my usual jeans and hoodie and brushed my hair, pulling it up for work. I didn't love my job, working at a bowling alley was not the best, but it came with its rewards. Free pizza and games for friends whenever I want. Except, all my friends are in college. So, that was never really an option. I put in some earrings and headed to the kitchen. Dad still wasn't up. He was out late last night. It was usual for him, though. He either worked late or went to a bar, either way, he would be in bed for a few more hours. Cielle then entered the kitchen.
"Morning." She said with a yawn, I noticed she was still in her pajamas. Cielle was short for her age, considering my dad was six foot two and mom was five foot eleven, the last time I saw her anyway. Cielle was the same as me, only shorter, more annoying, and younger. She had chestnut brown hair and hazel eyes. She liked her hair shorter though, while I kept mine long and straight.
"Why haven't you changed yet? You're going to be late for school." I said to her. Cielle had just turned fourteen, and I knew as well as anyone that she hated the thought of starting high school. "I'm not going." She answered blankly, sitting down at the table. I sighed, pouring milk into a glass. "Why not?" I asked. "Because I don't have to. I'm dropping out, there's no point in it anyway."
