you are the reason, i can survived.

Cold breeze on his skin was what woke Cole from a deep slumber. He squints his eyes when he notices he's alone on their bed, shivering, missing the cold touch and embrace of his lover. He checked his phone for the time and saw it turned to 3 am. Seeing as he can't go back to sleep now that he has woken up and alone, he rolled to the other side of the bed and got up just to notice the door of their balcony slightly opened.

He saw papers, preferably crumpled papers scattered on the floor as well as his lover's red guitar and an old headphone plugged in it, in which he gifted him those during their anniversary. It did not take him long enough to figure out that his lover's probably experiencing a mental block again and is probably smoking outside to destress and clear his mind.

Cole glanced at the balcony to see a tall silhouette of a man. He tied his hair as he strode his way to the kitchen of their shared apartment to make two mugs of hot choco and walked slowly with the two mugs he held in each of his hands.

He slid the door open with his feet, earning the attention of his lover who was busy looking at the city lights with a piece of cigarette in between his lips.

"Hey," the tall man greeted while extinguishing the cigarette his lips were holding just a seconds ago.

"Hi, hot choco?"

"You're awake," he handed the red mug which Russ happily accepted with its left hand and pulled him slowly with its right hand for a peck.

"I woke up with you missing," Cole says in a pout which earned apologetic eyes from his lover.

Russ wasn't even expecting him to wake up since he was dead tired when he arrived from work yesterday, only ate a small portion of their cooked dinner.

"I'm sorry," Cole felt warm the same time Russ said his apology, it was because of the jacket his lover draped on his shoulders.

Cole's cheeks warmed up at the action, this man just never fails to make him feel giddy. Four years later and it's still the same, just a little upgrade now since they're in this love far more deeply than they were before. He looked up at him to catch him looking at him intently, eyes full of love and fondness. His vision might be blurry and it might not be that clear since he's not wearing his glasses but he's certain that the man in front of him is looking at him with those eyes.

His eyes always look at him with love and fondness. Russ always stares like Cole's his whole universe, his personification of home and serene. He always stares at him like that.

Always.

Cole slowly puts his mug on the small table of their balcony before he closes the distance between him and his lover, encircling his arms around his neck for a hug. Russ met him halfway, pulling him closer for a more tight hug inhaling the scent of Cole's shampoo, leaving faint kisses on his head.

"I'm sorry, I left some trash inside."

Cole shook his head when he realized that Russ was pertaining to his works on the floor as trash, sure there are crumpled papers but he knew those had some keys, or lyrics scribbled inside that at the end of this distressing outside the balcony he'll pick each crumpled paper to continue making it. Cole will be at the side, assisting and cheering him when he does that.

"Were you having a hard time writing?"

"Hmm," Russ hums as he buries his head to Cole's neck inhaling his lover's natural scent.