Runaway

Chapter 16

Alexa's POV
I cleaned off my breakfast utensils into the sink. I rested the palms of my hands on the counter edge, and took a breath. Whatever happened last night was over, but the thought still bubbled in my mind. Max has never been the type to take advantage of girls--from the time I've known him--he's always been polite and caring. Last night, it was like...the wall he had from breaking out, had crumbled into pieces.

All I do is hurt everyone, Max included. I should have never gone to Amber. If only I had just gone to look for help the night I was taken, it would have prevented this whole dark whirlpool from happening. It's my fault. "All my fault," I whispered under my breath.

"What was that?" I heard a female voice come from behind. Amber, a smile adorned her face as she walked to the fridge.

"N-nothing," I stuttered, a fake smile grew onto my face. I was determined not show my hurt.

"You sure about that," she cheerfully asked from behind the fridge door as she peered into it, her voice muffled.

"Yeah, I just tend to do my thinking out loud sometimes," I pulled off my best laugh. "How's your mom?" I asked, stalling.

"Great," she replied closing the door to the fridge, with a container of yogurt in her hands. "She's coming back, in about 1 week," Amber added.

"That's nice, do you guys...get along well?" I pondered. Considering me and my mom's relationship I would've considered us close, she was unique in so many ways and I wouldn't have ever given anything up for her.

"Yeah, I guess. I mean, sometimes we fight and all that, but I don't see her often so the times I spend with her, I cherish." Amber answered, breaking me out of my thoughts. She took out a bowl and a spoon and scooped out some yogurt. Brushing her hair out of her face, she put the lid back onto the container and set the container back in the fridge. "Do you mind if I ask you something... emotionally personal?" She looked me in the eyes as if trying to read me.

"I guess," I spoke, twiddling my fingers at my sides, casually. I only hoped that what Amber would ask wouldn't bring me more regret having to do with what I have done in the past week or so.

"Do you ever think of what you could've done to prevent your mom from dying?" Amber un-knowingly burst out. I stared at her, noticing how she crossed her arms over her chest, nervously. Why did she have to ask? I wasn't ready to answer that type of question.

"I.. um," I gulped, "I guess I could've stopped it, by not being so selfish... or so motivated to get Austin back for what he's done," I bit my lip as I finished. Yes, I could've stopped it and yes, I know what I could've done, but Austin could've prevented this, and so could've Trenton and Max and my sister and who knows who else is involved. I feel like everyone is just putting the weight of guilt on me. Does it look like I wanted my mom dead? Does it seem like I ran away from Austin, with Max only to end up hurting the people around me more then they would've been, if I would have let the police find me? No. People make mistakes and out of those mistakes can come good things and bad things. We, as humans, need to fight through the bad and acknowledge the good in this world.

"That's all I wanted to know," Amber bowed her head as she spoke. She took a spoonful of yogurt and put it into her mouth. Suddenly her phone began to ring, she looked down and stared as if she were contemplating on whether to answer it or not, since she knew we had just had a moment of... well I guess you can call it, honesty.

"Go ahead, answer," I encouraged. She nodded approvingly, slid her finger across the screen and brought the phone up to her ear.

"Hello?" She questioned through the phone. There was a pause until she continued. "Hey! How's everything over there?" I instantly knew it was Dylan. "He what?...I guess, yeah I'm fine with it... Ok, see you soon, yup..bye babe" she hung up, then looked at me in the eyes, sympathetically. I knew then that she was going to tell me something regarding my feelings.