SUPERNOVA

Chapter 24

Nova
You learn to really appreciate something when you realize someone else lacked what you felt was a normal part of life.

That's how I felt about Daisuke's relationship with his dad. I would never really understand the absence of a father, I can try to imagine and piece together scenarios but I will never truly know how hard it was. My dad wasn't perfect but at least he was in my life.

I wanted him to have some closure and after finding out that Darius was connected to his dad I've been spending more time with him than my own boyfriend trying to figure out a plan for Daisuke to meet his dad face to face.

"Okay I'm texting him to come pick me up from work and when he does your dad will be there instead of me." I say to Darius.

"Okay sounds good."

"You sure this will work, I'm honestly really worried."

"What are you so worried about?" Darius asks as he grabs my balled up fist trying to comfort me.

"I just don't want him to freak out, when I brought up talking to his dad before he seemed so upset by the idea."

"Listen to me if it is meant to be it will be I promise you that. I can't promise everything will work out because I'm not even sure if it will, all we can do now is have hope." He pats my back and I nod.

"You're right I just hope everything will be okay."

"My dad's here I'm gonna go outside to stall him until Daisuke gets here."

I nod, checking my phone to see his location was a minute away. The scariest thing is not knowing how he'll react. I knew everything about him until it came down to his family. I was too afraid to say anything mainly because I know the pain he went through is really hard to talk about.

All I want is to be his comfort, the one he turned to when things felt impossible. This could either go terribly wrong and I come out the worst person possible for digging into his business or this could go great and him and his dad could become close again, I'm willing to bet on that.

Darius and his dad were at the entrance as I walked out to Daisuke. He was getting out of his car and his face lit up when he saw me but his eyes were red and he smelled like weed and cologne.

"Hello my love." He flashes his pearly white teeth pulling me into his embrace.

"Hey." I smile nervously.

"Can you come with me real quick, I have to tell you something." I say holding his hand.

He nods and blindly follows me but once Darius and his dad were in sight he stops in his tracks and lets go of my hand.

I turn around to see his pretty face clouded with a melancholy frown.

"No Nova, no don't do this to me." He whispers in a plea looking down at me with pure betrayal in his eyes and my heart sunk. He was biting his lip in an attempt to lull his emotions. A habitual notion I caught him doing while he was on trial. He had many tricks for diluting his emotions, but I could always see through it.

"Daisuke, what are you so afraid of, he can't hurt you anymore." I grab his hand trying to keep him from leaving.

"Not physically." He corrects with a frown.

"Don't you want closure from all the pain he's caused."

"You speak about my pain like you know exactly what I endured when you know nothing." He pulled his hand away and I frowned. It felt like our connection was being split in half

I never really saw him express his emotions freely if he was angry he would never yell and if he was sad he would always fight his tears. he wasn't big on expressing too much of himself.

This was the first time he ever raised his voice at me and treated me so harshly. It made me realize just how good he was at hiding his emotions, he never let them escape, so when it finally did; it was in tenfold. It made me wonder what all the pain he's hiding inside looks like when it's expressed. Would it be cruel as this  one?

"You're right I don't know anything I'm completely clueless. But I know a lot about trauma and it doesn't just go away. It lingers and dwells at the bottom of your stomach like a parasite. I know how that feels and I can tell you this is the only way you'll be able to overcome it."

He looks over at his dad with a spiteful look and back at me. "If it is, I'd rather deal with the parasite than face him." He turns around starting to leave but I grab his arm stopping him.

"I just want you to be okay, what you're doing right now will end you up in the hospital or better yet a grave. Do you really think I'm completely obvious to what you've been doing?"

His eyes fill with realization and I shake my head.

"While you were away I was cleaning up your apartment and found a small bag of acid and Xanax hidden inside your drawer, I know It wasn't just weed that Amir was selling you. Is this really what you want for the rest of your life? Because I sure as hell don't."

"You know what Nova you're just like my mom trying to control me. Maybe from all that time you spent with her she rubbed off on you."

"What, no that's not true.." I try to finish but he cuts me off

"You think you're better than me now that Amir's dead. Trying to save me like I did you, well wake up Nova I don't need saving and I don't want it. I chose drugs as my way to cope and that's what I'm going to do until it kills me." He yells and pulls his arm away leaving, taking a part of my heart with him.

I didn't bother chasing him, it would only make things worse and I knew he was done talking, all I could do now was give him space.

"Are you okay?" Darius asks as he comes up to me, filling the spot Daisuke left.

"Yeah I'm fine." I say and he wipes a tear off of my face that I didn't realize had fallen.

"No you're not and that's okay." He grabs my hand and I smile through my tears trying to hold them back but fail miserably.

"I can't help someone that doesn't want help." I say as more tears run down my face, Darius hugs me tightly as I cry and I hold on to him trying to keep myself together.

This was the first time Daisuke ever treated me so harshly, a cruel parallel I never thought I would experience. With every step he took, it felt like my chest hollowed one breath deeper. I didn't just lose him—I lost the version of him that believed I was home.